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letra de spilling thoughts - z the stranger

oh wow how brave and honest you’re being on this record. let’s be honest what are you really doing to help yourself? because i don’t think you really believe that this is helping you. why don’t you tell me everything, the real truth. what the f-ck are you doing for yourself?

i’m avoiding medication without thinking ‘bout the consequences
go to work and go to sleep
i’m never feeling conscious
but i’ve never had a problem
always smiling for all consensus
hidden
always anxious about understanding what “dеpressed” is
i’m still alive so i’m finе
i’m not a chronic disaster
i’m just a guy in some trying times
it’s not a crime to die at the speed of light in a time lapse
slow it down
i’m in the process now, just letting time pass
back in the ether like i never left
took my new anchor with me, bound with a leather belt
been in my mental like brain surgery
it’s something i’ll never escape even if the fame purges me
what do you know about the culture? what it is or what it’s meant to be?
it was said depressing teens were never welcome in the nest of gs
earl wouldn’t make it early on
neither would x or peep
now they’re the soundtrack of the nation
maybe they can rest in peace
i’m good at s-x and i have money
that’s not a flex ’cause that’s all i got
think i’m doing well when i’m often not
try patching this
i’m turning on and off
i could probably rock a spot while dodging conscious thoughts
but not for long before i fall again
after shows, i’m going home alone and broke
my broken hope is showing when i stop and tend
to recollect and start reflecting on impacting a crowd
i’ve revealed more to them than i would otherwise be letting out
the ether is something i’d never be talking about without a therapist around
but give me a beat and i’m willing to scream it aloud
a new type of healing is found
self love is an etude
i wish i could, but i can’t save you
all i can do is remain faithful
never let thoughts in a train take you away
rails looking weak
tunnel looking grey
coal’s running low
consciousness astray
you let it go, thinking it’ll be okay
not expecting anyone to pull the brake
it’s almost as if i have no emotions, but i know i do
i’m running in guns blazing, knowing i’m not bulletproof
it can be difficult to trust and be just as honest
i find myself thrust upon it
the mask is falling off
oh, so we’re going to see the real you? the one you were hiding from us this entire time? oh well isn’t that something. alright, well now you’re going to be truly honest, spill your thoughts. you have the stage

i was born dead
baby with a bullet in the head
a knife in the chest
i can’t remember the last time i was comfortable
still i feel well enough not to crumble, though
f-ck that. take a look at the image against it’s juxtaposed
the image of me in a casket disturbs me, i don’t want to think that way
i still have another year to wait before i can drink it away
if i end it now, the guilt would be endless
it’s something i couldn’t escape
like james sunderland in egypt
get your pyramid scheme out my face
i don’t need that
f-ck a glee track. i’m bringing z back
the same z that made g*nius raps about history at just 16
don’t bring your dirt
this is pristine
y’all lowes paint
this is sistine
no average bars, but this sh-t’s mean
you can stay out of the way of this dream
i was budding way back when i was 5’9″
swing the bat like ortiz, leave you with a crooked eye
welcome to the slaughter house
rapture under the icons
enter if you’ve lost yourself

- z the stranger

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