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letra de remember that we're non-violent (melbourne) - world scholar's cup

[chauncey]
if you’ve ever felt the urge to punch a scholar in the face
for poking at your cheekbones with a little too much haste
just take a breath and sit back down and stay within your place
and remember that we’re non-violent

and if you’ve ever gotten irritated ’cause a scholar goes
“you look just like lord voldemort except you have a nose”
don’t forget your shiny head is something that you chose
and remember that we’re non-violеnt
[dylan]
but scholars, you guys aren’t all that non-violent eithеr!
if you’ve ever known the answer to a question in the bowl
but your teammate grabbed your cl!cker and went out of your control
before you go berserk and let your anger take its toll
remember that we’re non-violent

[joga]
if you’ve ever had a teammate that got up and spoke with pride
but it turned out that he’d been preparing for the other side
don’t hit him when he sits back down, just keep it all inside
remember that we’re non-violent

[daniel]
if you’ve ever filled five bubbles in and none of them were right
or qualified for globals but then had to book a flight
don’t send us angry emails or try to pick a fight
remember that we’re non-violent

[all]
we are a non-violent program
full of forgiveness and remorse
we’re a non-violent program
and we keep it so by force!

[chauncey]
you remember all the instances your wi-fi didn’t work
[dylan]
and also all the other times your wi-fi didn’t work

[daniel]
please don’t yell for kk, the wi-fi still won’t work

[joga]
remember that we’re non-violent

[chauncey]
and if you’ve ever joined us at a round that ran a bit too long

[dylan]
and our playlist just consisted of a single looping song

[daniel]
don’t write angry facebook posts, just try to sing along

[joga]
remember that we’re non-violent!

[havana starts playing]

[chauncey, spoken]
scholars, thank you for upholding the non-violent mission that we have been trying to spread around the world from round to round! especially during moments of frustration where one might even be tempted into violence!
[dylan]
yeah, such as when it takes 24 minutes too long for the opening to begin!

[joga]
or when it takes 27 minutes too long for the closing to finish!

[daniel]
i love this song

[chauncey]
or when you email us asking for certificates and… we never respond!

[joga]
and then when you finally receive your certificates… and it’s not your name on them!

[dylan]
or when you bring along 45 unregistered parents and we run out of seats! (sorry guys)

[daniel]
i really love this song

[chauncey]
or when some members of the team incorrectly suggest that pineapple belongs on pizza!

[music stops]

[daniel, spoken]
chauncey, chauncey, there is nothing incorrect about that. pineapples do go on pizza!

[chauncey, spoken]
i think you’ll find as i have found from regional round to regional round that i and the scholars rightfully believe that pineapple does not go on pizza!

[daniel, spoken]
chauncey, chauncey, i have been to thousands of regional rounds across both hemispheres this season, and universally the students agree that pineapple is the perfect pizza topping!

[chauncey, spoken]
well, at the millions of rounds across all five hemispheres the scholars all believe that pineapple doesn’t go on pizza!

[daniel, spoken]
your hemispheres are not represented in the united nations

[dylan, spoken]
guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. your hemispheres aren’t represented anywhere. there’s only one way to finally, finally settle this debate. scholars, who wants an epic rap battle? well, we don’t have actually one. but what we do have is an awkward rap battle
dj kk, the music please

[daniel]
roll your dough this, roll your dough that
without pineapple, your pizza’s just fat
so make that perfect shape and melt on top
that perfect cheese and then don’t stop
cover it all in tomato sauce – don’t like tomatoes either?
your loss – it is the culmination of a culinary notion
that perfect food across every land and ocean!

[chauncey]
ha, daniel, you gotta get your head straight
your argument draws a blank like a template
you want a pizza that’s soggy and wet
then you can’t get upset if it tastes like a cement grate
what do you mean a culinary culmination?
it’s the subject of years of cultural appropriation
i’m sorry canada, i know you’re tryna play but
you want better trade deals, don’t attack our taste buds!

[daniel]
appropriate this, appropriate that
your mama, she told me i’m an alpaca, you’re just a llama
canada’s polite, you could learn a thing or two
your kind of pizza, you can’t even chew
it’s rinky-d-nky, it’s stale and it’s stinky
it wouldn’t even win a freaking da vinci
so chauncey, mate, your debate is second rate
you’re the one who’s gotta get his taste buds straight

[joga, spoken]
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey guys. whoa, whoa. can i just say something before this gets out of hand? who cares?

[scholars]
we do

[joga, spoken]
guys, this is a global round. we have thousands of scholars here from all over the world. we need to remind them that we, the world scholar’s cup, are a non-violent program
(sung)
if you’ve ever been bewildered by an incoherent act

[dylan]
or thought that i showed you [?] that’s what these guys have lacked

[daniel]
before you wonder if the scholar’s cup has finally cracked

[chauncey]
remember your fees are non-refundable

[eric, spoken]
cancellation within 30 days may be credited 50% toward future partic-p-tion

[joga, spoken]
this one’s for everyone who came here expecting to meet scholars from all over the world
(sung)
if you signed up for a global round to travel far away

[daniel]
to meet all kinds of scholars from havana to la

[chauncey]
but then it turns out everyone’s from indones-i-a

[dylan]
remember that this is melbourne

[all]
if you take the time to think about the week we have ahead
we’ll all make dumb mistakes that we’d prefer to leave unsaid
but in the end, we made it here so get it in your head

[chauncey]
remember that we’re non-violent

[daniel]
non-colorist

[dylan]
non-practiced

[joga]
pro-havana

[all]
non-violent program
and time!

- world scholars cup

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