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letra de not uxorial - winter sisters

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we shared a brother skin
some of me was some of him
his unkempt hair, his oven burns
the bruises bashed into his every word

(did you hit him again?)

i tried to be
what you’d need
but you wouldn’t
let me in, and
i will not fight
what is finite—
you had no home;
you had a prison

he says, “there’s no pleasure.”
in my defence, i wanted better
still, i ask him to chop the onions—
i don’t want to cry in front of him

i do not think
we can drink
enough to forgive
or forget it
i tried my best
but i digress:
we both needed someone
to trust, let in

still, it’s bigger than
what we began
we said, “yes,” but
we could not usurp
so we made hurt
the only word
and in that way
got what we deserve

wear a coat, dear, i heard it will be cold
when you come home, you can take off your clothes
all i ask is: admit you’re a coward
all i ask is: when you scream, scream louder
reduce it to a single, useless word
say it loud even though you won’t be heard
what is the body without organs of a book?
a jaw, a jar, a gesture that i could—
between bars, bar-fights, desire, duct-tape
parades and parks, a river becoming a lake—
i know i said: simultaneity, but
i cannot be you, and you cannot be me

so long, friend

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