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letra de sometimes - to be gentle

when i depart from the velvety blackness of slumber, my whole home hurts
the doorways hurt
the curtains hurt
the sagging window frame from which i listlessly loom under hurts
i look out into the street
people going about their lives
walking their dogs
riding their bikes
everyone has a place here
only i do not know where my place is
for now it is under the window frame
adorned with paper ghost garlands
i clothe myself
i can no longer bend as i could when i was young
my clothes hurt
i itch and ache and stink of sweat
my skin is infected
i do not shower because i am afraid of the bathroom
i am haunted by faces when i try to close my eyes
sometimes they sear their terrifying eyes into my mirror
i do not like what i see, so i no longer look
i do not know what my face looks like anymore
my reflection hurts and it wants to hurt me
my walk to work hurts
the breeze hurts and so do the people passing by
i turn my face from them, for i am ugly

- to be gentle

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