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letra de aporia - these five years

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i can’t help feeling this way –
that it’s better if i don’t stay
the same. i’m feeling the pain
that’s in my head
inside of my chest
and it’s seizing my personality

i’m still wondering about wandering north but i’m
sidestepping backwards and i’m
lost between these circ-mstances
i placed myself within

and this never-ending brightness
is burying my eyes, and
it’s branding my brain
with what i only presume are
my imperfections and
i can’t re-ssure myself that i’m individual
i’m too miserable

but i’ll tell myself that i’m worth fighting for
and that i’ll live for all that’s left in store
knowing the best may never come

but it’s still taking too long to find some sense
inside all of these opportunities
i’m lost within unending indecision

i’m building bridges out of sand
treading water with all my plans
the seeds i’ve sown, they will not grow
in all that’s left of the home i’ve known

don’t ask me how it’s been when it’s not even over yet

- these five years

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