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letra de hope - suffocate for fuck sake

there could be times when i had not slept all night, or for a couple of nights. sometimes my mother was away for 2 days. i remember sitting in the window and looked and checked as soon as a taxi or a bus came and i thought “is she coming home now?”
we were always bought
with pretty things
something new from you
for a piece of us

hope remains unchained
for a child
who will defend me?
when i defend from you

“but when your mother was away for two days, what did she say when she got home? because you were very young?”
no, she often had anxiety then. alot of anxiety, she cried and also had the strangest stories why she had been away. everything from being kidnapped to being beaten down and unconscious in some bush for two days to… there were so many sick explanations all the time for why she had been gone

then when she had been crying over it for a while, it was like this. “no, now let’s go to nk and shop for some nice clothes and have a coffee in the city”. so, we would always be bought… and time after time again you want to belive that your parents doesn‘t lie and hope is always present when you are young

if i ever let you go
who would i be?

i do not know if she remembers things but she probably would not be able to talk about it. she sometimes call when she‘d thought about it and say, “sorry i gave you a terrible childhood… sorry”

you leave, you leave so easily
i still care for you

from time to time i‘ve received some help and what it has taught me is that you should not blame yourself. it is not your fault that someone else drinks… above all. but would i say that i am free from co-dependence today… well… no. i don’t think i will ever be completely free. but i‘m very much aware of it

- suffocate for fuck sake

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