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letra de saintly sister - stephen james smith

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oh to have another pair of eyes
for a different perspective and ways of seeing this world

what colour would yours be?
mine a greeny-blue, a hue not lost on you
teenage trauma led to a black eye
and an eventual cataract
blurring my vision
and depth of field

ironic, poets are meant to be prophetic
but i didn’t see that punch coming
nor did i expect to be knocked
by the answer to my question
“would you like grandchildren?”
i asked my father
“i’d have liked a daughter,” he said

and with that
a loss i never knew existed
my unknown skin and blister
a sister
a figment of imagination
a regret
an unborn sibling
one to rival with
be the apple of his eye
no matter how hard i’d to try
so i write this for you, sister
on this saintly day
so i’ll call you bridget
mary of the gaels
goddess of poetry
yarner of tales
singer of spring
druidess of oak
holy fire smoke
teach me of brotherhood, sorority
take anything you want from me

i don’t remember how we first met
because it never happened
but did you hide my bike?
help me with homework?
push me off the tree?
was i overbearing with my love
protecting you from your partner?
did i do unspeakable deeds
when you told me what they’d done?
or was i overjoyed at being
the godfather to your first son?
making me an uncle
will i, would i make you an aunt?
who was told first or were we both there
when cancer was uttered?
did we take it in turns going to the hospital?
were you younger or older?
i the pupil or the master?
i’d selfishly rather die first
than read at your funeral
are you pagan in tradition?
shining imbolc colours
white and silver
for snow and ice
pale gold
for the passing winter sun
jade green
for the first flowers of spring
garnet red
for the lambs to be born
amethyst
for protection and the birthstone of february
with the sun’s growing strength
you brighten each day
and here, you found me, half-way
between the solstice and equinox
i am a strawboy to your cross
and i sense your healing
at this time of rebirth
you’ve been born
revealing my blind ignorance
sister, now i find
all we have is the imagination
to play happy families in the mind
one thing’s for sure though
i know you’d be kind

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