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letra de carol's first bad summer - souveneer

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i used to be afraid of the beach
i used to keep away from the city streets
and i just lied and said i am who i am
the sum of my hesitations

now i still feel guilty when i give in
like half a f-cking milligram’s a cardinal sin
but i admit i think i like who i am
when i’m taking medication

‘cause i didn’t plan to have a panic attack
in the sepulveda pass
but i could’ve made it count for something
a productive interruption
but hey your brother’s getting married
and your hackles are up
what the f-ck?
‘cause we’re still playing dreamcast
on the floor of his room
trying not to make the sun rise
‘cause therе’s leaves to rake outsidе

what if i started taking care of my health?
what if i told my family how i felt?
do you think the ground would open up and swallow me?
probably spontaneously

‘cause i didn’t mean to make a h-ll of a scene
thought i was dead at sixteen
but i could’ve learned some kind of lesson
what a waste of epinephrine

but hey your friends are outside waiting
and you’re nursing your nerves
what a curse
and now we’re making school films
in the bas-m-nt again
oh sh-t i think we’re problematic
but time was real
we had it

- souveneer

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