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letra de stupid enough to eat - sophie dingsdale

i pierced my ear in the drivers seat of my car
ten minutes after my therapy appointment
i’m losing faith in humans and i don’t believe in gods
but i’m praying this drink wasn’t poisoned
i’m driving through about an inch of snow in january
and passing streets i once avoided
head over heels for the barista at this cafe
but if we spoke they’d be disappointed

what’s a delicate way to say what’s in my head?
i’d rather k!ll myself than go back there again
i cut my bangs too short and you swear you didn’t notice
guess there’s worse things to do and we did them all back then
it’s еasier to lie to the pеople who are supposed to help me
i’m sorry i’m late again but i swear i tried
and i shouldn’t be driving like this, even in the middle of the night
but i’ve not crashed yet so it’s all fine
my therapist wants a life plan written out by tuesday morning
my fingernails claw at the edge
because the only time i seem to feel anything these days
is with my toes half off the ledge

what’s a poetic way to say i’m sick of loving you?
now all i’m left with is regret and the urge for sh-tty tattoos
i need you to tell me it’ll all make sense someday
and if you don’t believe it, just don’t let me see it on your face

it’s humiliating to want and it’s exhausting to plead
and i’m getting used to the feeling of concrete digging in my knees
it’s too much and not enough all at once
i imagine driving to that overpass at least twice a month
is this what it means to be lonely or free?

and i want you to love me but i don’t want you to touch me
i think i’ve forgotten how to let myself be weak
i want you to touch me but i don’t want you to love me
the apple’s rotten and i’m stupid enough to eat

- sophie dingsdale

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