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letra de excuses are remains - sol galeano

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i’ve been dreaming vivid lately
i’ve been doing instead of making excuses
excuses
are the remains
of broken children
and i’m not a child anymore
i’m 20
a monster that’s really a god at heart
a daughter failing to play her part
while my mother’s at home praying that i seek the sun
i wonder
i wonder what my father was thinking when he told me to run
i ran
i ran fast
beating time and death
i ran
i ran fast
beating lungs and breath
my last step
reminded me of this memory
i was 6
a short story that went like this:

my uncle took his mask off
confessed beneath his breath
that he wasn’t human
at my expense

finish

so the next time you call me queen
know that i’m that and then some
nefert-ti probably wouldn’t want it
even if we were to face each other under the same sun
playing russian roulette using the same gun
singing suicide using the same tongue
i’m the universe in her early 20s
before man f-cked her over
before god was in existence
she was radiation without a definition
an incomplete song that was ok
with some pieces being missing
i wonder
i wonder
if god ever regrets my
existence like i do
i wonder
i wonder if these other rapping excuses for poets
regret watching me step into the scene too
i wonder what would life be like if we all
saw
spoke
and heard
in shades of blue
would we all be so quick to p-ss judgment if we
were all blind too
this… is another rant p-ssing for a poem
i’m another expressive being p-ssing for a poet
i’m another reason short of an excuse and i know it
a broken bar falling in a verse on repeat
a fist full of promises cooking over high heat

i’ve been dreaming vivid lately
i’ve been doing instead of making excuses
excuses
are the remains
of broken children
and i’m not a child anymore

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