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letra de move (extended version) - skout

i don’t know exactly when i first noticed it
but it feels like it’s always been there
you see i’ve calculated and recalculated my age in relation to the world around me thousands of times to convince myself i’m still young enough, i can still make that change, i still have time
every birthday, every new year, every milestonei seem to find somebody new to compare myself to
another person’s timeline i can use to justify my own

and i think i first noticed it in the contеxt of art:
why is it that the work of an 18 year old captures our attеntion much more readily than similar work of a 25 year old or 40 or 70 year old?
is it that lack of experience that we find more valuable, more impressive than years of crafting and toiling and refining
that somebody else might take to get to the same level?
i guess so
but, but what if you’re not there yet?
do you stop? do you give up?
because i can’t help but feel like there’s a limited number of spots in that light that we’re all striving for
and every time somebody newer to the game shows up and gets recognized you just feel like they’re taking your spot
is it rational? no. but it’s there
and slowly i’ve watched this mentality seep into every facet of my life, this comparison of where i could be, where i should be
versus where i am

hold me close tell me this babe are we ok
i went looking for love i found it now i’m pushing away
i don’t feel like we’re on our way
i just feel our own decay
watch the patterns take their shape
i stuck my feet in the ground and said wait
watch the tides as they come and go
i’m sinking in

time hurts as much as it heals
when you’re stuck waiting for a reveal
and i know i just need to move

love the way that this city can tear you down
make you feel so alive and then spit you out
i don’t feel like i’m on my way
i just feel my own decay

time hurts as much as it heals
when you’re stuck waiting for a reveal
and i know i just need to move

and at first this feeling of anxiety, it serves to motivate you
it’s a reason to get your ass out of bed in the morning and prove to the world that you deserve one of those spots
but eventually, no matter what you do, you never seem to get there
and over time it wears at you, and then it becomes time itself that you’re both afraid of and afraid of losing
and some days that fear grabs a hold of you, consumes you and convinces you you’re too f-cking late , you’re never gonna get there, and you become paralyzed

and you kick yourself because you know deep down that a certain number of orbits around the sun has no real bearing on what you’re capable of
is it all in your head? yeah of course it’s in your f-cking head
it’s always has been and you know that but you can’t escape it
i mean one day you’re 25 turning 26 with what feels like is the same consciousness you had when you were 17
and when you were 17 you used to imagine your life at 60, boxes checked and part of you thanked god that you weren’t there yet
and part of you thought you’d never get there
well you’re there
we’re all there
we’ve been there
and we don’t have time

- skout

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