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letra de a day in the life of a pessimist - placeholder name

ok so i was walking down the street minding my own business when my wallet fell out of my pocket. then it got ran over by car, then it got ran over by a bus, then a semitruck, next a military grade tank, and then a lawnmower. then to top things off a whale falls from the sky and crushes it. then something comes up and says he’s gonna kick my ass, then he kicks my ass and the doctor says it broke and that i’m not gonna be able to p–p for a couple of weeks

i outta tell you that life sucks
its been this way for awhile
everyone you love is on drugs
and all celebrities are pedophiles

ok so i was trying to p–p because i forgot i couldn’t p–p anymore and out of nowhere a snake jumps out of the toilet and bites off my pickle poo, so i run out the bathroom bleeding all over the place when this joeysworldtour breaks into your and sits on you and just starts farting all over you and it goes in your mouth and he starts having diarrhea, just starts having diarrhea all over you and it stains your brand new clothes. like people tell you to look on the bright side but its kinda hard to do that you know

i outta tell you that life sucks
its been this way for awhile
everyone you love is on drugs
and all celebrities are pedophiles

you want to know all the things i hate
i’ll tell you all the thing i hate

i hate books, politics, and vegetables
movies, video games, anime, and manga
i hate everything that’s respectable
uno, battleship, candy land and zenga
i hate democrats and republicans
communism and capitalism
i hate every bird even toucans
antidisestablishmentarianism
i hate optimists and pessimists
sticks, stones and traffic cones
i hate xenophobes and racists
tissues, organs, blood and bone
i hate repetition and repetition
or when lines don’t rhyme in songs
this song, this album and this band
and bis-xuals, those stupid greedy bis-xuals
i outta tell you that life sucks
its been this way for awhile
everyone you love is on drugs
and all celebrities are pedophiles

i outta tell you that life sucks
its been this way for awhile
everyone you love is on drugs
and all celebrities are pedophiles

- placeholder name

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