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i hate everyone i love
for keeping me anch-r-d to this earth
it’s in all their god d-mned support
that i can’t leave behind
a happy corpse

with a smile on my face
and a hole in my chest
’cause there was a hole in my heart
that no one could fix

father asks ‘why’ but please i don’t know why mother keeps crying she can’t let me go talk going around about being inst-tutionalized cringing in my mind about the thought of being exorcised there’s a demon in my brain and he’s eating all my joy he’s the same sp-wn of satan that made me the boy i am i am i am i am i am i am i am i am i am

i am

such a f-cking wreck

and i’m sort of scared
i’m 19 years old
already dead-set on being alone

so give me my klonopin
and leave me alone
or god come about
and let me leave home

’cause i hate myself
for being self-involved
and i love myself
for being better than all
with my nose in the air
i can truly say
you would miss me too much
if i were gone

— jackson

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