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letra de someone worth loving - nomrah

[monologue: hero_myher0]
you know what’s kinda sad?
and i really hope that none of you relate to this
but people always be asking me like
“hero, oh my god, why are you single?”
and then they’ll think up reasons why i shouldn’t be single, right?
like, “you’re so pretty, though” or, “you’re so nice”
or whatever bullsh-t they can think of
whatever they believe
and i always make up some bullsh-t excuse
like, “oh, so and so and i just didn’t work out
we didn’t agree”
or, ya know like, “being single’s more fun”
or like, “i just feel like i should be single right now”
and that’s not f-ckin’ true
the truth is that i’m just slowly losing my sh-t
and the problem with slowly losing your sh-t
is that there’s not a consistent version of you for anyone to love
now, i feel like the expression, “losing your sh-t”
just implies that you’re losing what you had, you’re losing who you were
so, i always hope that maybe when i’ve lost my sh-t completely
someone will be able to love me then
but if losing your sh-t is losing who you were
i’m afraid that the version of me that i’ll become
when i’ve lost my sh-t completely
won’t be someone worth loving
and that’s f-ckin’ terrifying
so don’t ask me why i’m single
because that’s the truth
i’m slowly losing my sh-t
and it’s scary
and it’s stupid
and it’s reckless
and it seems pointless but i know that’s not true
but it’s terrifying
that’s it, it’s terrifying
[verse: nomrah]
losin’ my sh-t from my ludicrous wins
rootin’ for chris from lucifer’s end
tune in to prince and move out the myths
who it depends on is a matter of, “who got the benz?”
“who got the ‘rari?”, “don’t call the feds”
go to a party when i’m upset
drown out my sorrows in smokin’ and s-x
losing my sh-t ‘cuz i’m f-ckin’ depressed
but i ain’t got no reason to be (uh uh)
i feel guilty for speaking on the sadness in me (i do)
this sh-t hits me in the chest with a bullet or three (shots)
call that karma
for the ways that i was searching for peace
through more drama (huh?)
full of so much hot air i think i got the bends now
the truth is that i’m insecure ‘bout everything and stressed out (stressed)
feel like one man who was tasked with saving earth
without ever being taught about his own self worth
so how can i comprehend that these people are real
when i spend most my time alone just trying to heal? (yuh)
remember who i am, i think that i lost me
a mask replaced my face while i dissipate calmly
‘cuz the smallest inconveniences break me down to pieces (shattered)
‘cuz my foundation was built upon my grievance
of not having a father in my life i could depend on
who treated my mother kindly, not leave her stepped on
15 years later, memories bubble up
trauma has resurfaced and these feelings all run amuck (yuh)
question my reflection every morning (every morning)
shuttering from panic attacks without a warning (ain’t no warnin’)
the truth is that i grew through that
i’m tryna find myself (myself)
i’m movin’ past the room that’s packed
with all my doubts in h-ll (in h-ll)
i’m constantly evolving (yuh), it may be for the worse though (no)
no consistent calling (huh?) of who i am as one soul (yuh)
backpacks full of masks that i’ll place on my face (face)
snap back to the fact that i don’t know my place (place)
as a human, as a son, as a being of light (light)
gotta choose, am i done or am i fighting all night? (night)
imma work through my issues, know i’ll be alright (yuh)
‘cuz i know now my truth is worth much more than life
[morse code]
(i finally learned to breathe)

- nomrah

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