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letra de faith - ned rorem

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“i’ve been having these
awful dreams, each a little different
though the core’s the same-

we’re walking in a field
wally and arden and i, a stretch of grass
with a highway running beside it

or a path in the woods that opens
onto a road. everything’s fine
then the dog sprints ahead of us
exicted; we’re calling but
he’s racing down a scent and doesn’t hear us
and that’s when he goes

onto the highway. i don’t want to describe it
sometimes it’s brutal and over
and othеrs he’s struck and takes off

so we don’t know whеre he is
or how bad. this wakes me
every night, and i stay awake;

i’m afraid if i sleep i’ll go back
into the dream. it’s been six months
almost exactly, since the doctor wrote

not even a real word
but an acronym, a vacant
four-letter cipher

that draws meanings into itself
reconstitutes the world
we tried to say it was just

a word; we tried to admit
it had power and thus to nullify it
by means of our acknowledgement
i know the current wisdom:
bright hope, the power of wishing you’re well
he’s just so tired, though nothing

shows in any tests, nothing
the doctor says, detectable:
the doctor doesn’t hear what i de

that trickling, steadily rising nothing
that makes him sleep all say
vanish into fever’s tranced afternoons

and i swear sometimes
when i put my head to his chest
i can hear the virus humming

like a refrigerator
which is what makes me think
you can take your positive attitude

and go straight to h-ll
we don’t have a future
we have a dog
who is he?

soul without speech
sheer, tireless faith
he is that -which-goes-forward
black muzzle, black paws
scouting what’s ahead;
he is where we’ll be hit first

he’s the part of us
that’s going to get it
i’m hardly awake on our mourning walk

-always just me and arden now-
and sometimes i am still
in the thrall if the dream

which is why, when he took a step onto commercial
before i’d looked both ways
i screamed his mane and grabbed his collar

and there i was on my knees
both arms around his nieck
and nothing coming

and when i looken into that bewildered face
i realized i didn’t know what it was
i was shouting at

i didn’t know who i was trying to protect.”

- ned rorem

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