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letra de strict - michael rosen

we had a teacher who was so strict
you weren’t allowed to breathe in her lessons
she used to stand out the front going:
“noooo breathing!”
and you had all morning to get through
-holds breath-
the weak ones just used to keel over and die
you’d hear them going down behind you
-dying sound effects-
there was always a whiny kid going
“miss, can i go out and do some breathing?”
and she’d say:
“no! you’ve had all play time to do that!”
“oh come on miss, come on”
you know
at the beginning of the week there were 48 kids in my class
and at the end of the week there were only 5 of them left
yeah, you know at the end of the day
you’d be stepping over kids just to get out of the room
oh no! there’s melanie…
that’s a shame, she was really nice!
there’s dave, haha
hard luck dave! always knew you were a bit weak!
you know people say to me:
“if that’s true, how come you’re here to tell the tale?”
fair enough, and i’ll tell you
its because, when i was at school
we used to sit at desks
we didn’t sit at tables like you do now
we used to sit at desks, with lids
and some of us figured out, what you had to do
was sn-tch a quick breath under the desk lid when she wasn’t looking!
so once more, from the beginning…
“noooo breathing!”
-holds breath-
the weak ones:
-dying sound effects-
the whiny ones:
“miss, can i go out and do some breathing?”
“no, you’ve had all play time to do that”
“oh come on miss, oh come on”
us lot:
-lifts desk lid, takes breath, slams it down-
ah! that was the mistake!
slamming the desk lid down!
if you made a noise with the desk lid it was:
“out! school prison!”
there was a prison underneath the school hall where they used to string you up from the wall bars
-holds hands up, as if hanging to the wall by some chains-
“miss, i’ve been up here for 3 weeks! and there’s rats… and they’re nibbling my toenails!”
so i figured it out
what you had to do was put your thumb around the edge of the desk lid
so when it went down, it didn’t make any noise at all
once more, from the beginning:
“noooo breathing!”
-holds breath-
the weak ones:
-dying sound effects-
the whiny ones:
“miss, can i go out and do some breathing?”
“no, you’ve had all playtime to do that”
“oh come on miss, oh come on”
these other kids:
-lifts desk lid, takes breath, slams it down-
“out! school prison!”
-holds hands up, as if hanging to the wall by some chains-
“miss, i’ve been up here for 3 weeks! and there’s rats… and they’re nibbling my toenails!”
me:
-lifts desk lid, takes breath, quietly closes it-
there, no noise at all…
survival!

- michael rosen

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