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letra de out in the open - marmar the terrible

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the way i see things ain’t always the same
how my mind works ain’t always this sane
when i was in pain, i enjoyed the percs
little did i know a bit of evil would lurk

with that being said
don’t blame a substance
it was my persistence, i wanted distance
no coexisting, was my own affliction
i needed fixin’ but my mind is missin’
had no direction, skewed perception
as a confession, it was my depression
that led me to believe it would make me better
didn’t feel pleasure
avoided pressure
i couldn’t even really enjoy the weather
me, myself, and i, we were all together
ties were severed but i’m never alone
yet it’s a habit, i’m on my own
thinkin’ bout sins i can never atone
i lose control
behave in a way i can never condone
but you gotta understand
my mind started goin’ ‘fore it ever began

feel a bit hazy
who are you to blame me
they be crunchin’ numbers, i ain’t a statistic
lil bit cryptic, lil explicit
being s-d-stic is my only consistent
aside from feeling like i’m insufficient
my visions tunneled
now even my thoughts are m-ffled
under the weather
i want to be better
but my past is an anchor
that i can’t get untethered
told a shrink
i wanna surpass
who i was in the past
and all she did was laugh
i lose ahold
mentally, i decompose
walk out feelin’ worse than before

feel a bit hazy
who are you to blame me
they say “you’re bummin’ us out”
lil bit cryptic, lil explicit
being s-d-stic ain’t my only consistent

come on class
we’re goin’ on a field trip
let’s not make a scene of it
let’s see the twisted
let’s see the wicked
and every bit of evil we can get from within it

as i walk through the darkness
i notice a dark mist
it’s my inner artist
might as well be a carcass
still hit my target
committed some arson
gifted malevolence
that was the bargain
thought you got pardoned
but my heart got hardened
raise potential for carnage
you’re a stencil for garbage
your head in a door hinge
‘til your dead or sell oranges
look ahead as your blood drips
thought i was done
guess you were wrong
become entranced as i sing my song
don’t feel like i belong
withdrawal my impulsive response
feel no remorse for what you got on

laugh as you struggle
stay out of my bubble
they doubt that i’m trouble
but your status will crumble
as you funnel your bullsh-t
you’re a hypocrite that’s gotta recommit
l!ckety split
pigidy did it
cl!ckety clock
goes the glock
and i watch time countdown the clock
that we pay for our wrongs
and our morals all fog
and our humors all clog
line your body with chalk
i’m not a monster
just ahead of the curve
you said you are nervous
cause you can’t find your purpose
be one of a kind, let’s be part of a circus
then achieve rigor mortis
to be resurfaced
providing a service
don’t be a servant, you are more than a sermon
you are your own person

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