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letra de rn33: pope francis raps the 10 commandments - juice rap news

[robert foster]
h-llo and welcome, this is robert foster presenting
an update on the most pressing topic of the millennium
as we rocket past four hundred parts per million
into a blazed new world with rising momentum
humanity’s next ‘really last final chance’ to take action
is the cop twenty one climate summit in paris
where world leaders will gather again to establish
whether or not humans wish to keep inhabiting this planet
we’ve heard scientists predict an earth that’s unliveable
we’ve heard sceptics galore, and al gore, from the realm of the political
but will religious figures, with their faith in miracles
support the scientific principle, or side with the cynical?
to find out we’re headed to the vatican, where the spiritual
leader of a billion believers will be appearing soon
this is a world exclusive, pope francis giving a lyrical
recital of his fresh new encyclical

[pope francis]
in nomine patri et filii et spiritus sancti
dope francis with a revelation for all humanity:
the earth is not at the centre of the galaxy
the sun is! and actually, the earth moves around it…
wait, sorry… that was an old announcement
ah.. found it! the church thinks hitler is not good, he’s evil…
goddammit… that’s an old one as well. wait people…
ah here: man-made climate change is no myth, it’s real!

[robert foster]
the pope has chosen to speak out on the climate!

[pope francis]
fratelli e sorelle: the apocalypse is upon us
if you still want to get to heaven on the day of judgment
heed my revised list of the new ten commandments:
(1) thou shalt emulate my namesake, saint francis of -ssisi
hang out with all creation: animals, plants and seaweeds
(2) thou shalt value the earth, more than money and wealth
turn not this planet into an immense pile of filth
(3) thou shalt have a revolution to avert smoggy darkness
and rely not on the magic of technology or the markets!
(4) thou shalt see water as a holy human right
that shall not be profited off, polluted, or privatised
(5) thou shalt maybe consider generations not born yet
in all decisions regarding use of resources
like drilling the arctic, destroying the reef and amazon forest
causing the sick m-ss extinction of the planet’s fauna
(6) thou shalt transition as rapidly as possible
to renewable energy and divest from fossil fuels
australia! that means wind and sun rays coming down
cutting down trees and burning them doesn’t count!
(7) thou shalt modify thine own personal frikkin’ life style
be not wasteful, and diligently recycle
(8) move thyself away from consumerism, a new frame of mind
get afk , talk to people on the train, ride a d-mn bike
(9) thou shalt heed the cry of the poor of the world for it is they
who art already getting screwed by climate change
and who have least blame for tainting ocean and land
eco-justice and people-justice shall go hand in hand
(10) thou shalt be united, with the conviction strong
that we are a single human family: we are one!
with these new commandments, we can save the planet
go forth, christians, catholics, infidels, all humanity, make it happen!

[robert foster]
thank you, pope francis for spitting these commandments
worldwide, people are praising the church’s advances
in calling for radical action on climate change, an issue so contentious

[pope francis]
eh, the vatican will do anything to remain relevant

[robert foster]
you’ve also received rebuke from those
who deny climate change, like jeb bush, and i quote:
‘i don’t get my economic policy from my bishop, cardinal, or pope.’

[pope francis]
yeah, he gets it from his exxon lobbyist, -n-lyst and ceo

[robert foster]
so, you say we must care for the poverty-stricken
just like saint francis, who renounced all possessions
does this mean the vatican will share its m-ssive wealth with the people?

[pope francis]
no, figlio mio, we keep the gold so it doesn’t tempt them to evil

[robert foster]
wait, a guest is beaming in at huge speed
it’s terrence moonseed, here to speak to the holy see

[terrence moonseed]
holy sh-t! gullible lib-tards, your perception is flawed
this pope is no different from any that have come before
the catholic church is still a malevolent place
full of satanic agents of dagon
the fish-headed god of the -ssyrian race
look at his fish hat! he’s still trying to trap you into praying to a fake deity
the only change is, he’s now got a pr agent to make you believe
why else would he be attempting to foist climate change on everyone?
we all know that’s just a false face of the deadly agenda 21:
the un’s tyrannical plan to use environment ethics
to reduce the global populace through microchips and eugenics!

[pope francis]
but terrence, i am against population control

[terrence moonseed]
you are??

[pope francis]
condoms, abortions and h0m-s-xuality are all
abominations for the vatican. we want to have more children, not limit them

[terrence moonseed]
you want more children?! we all know why, you monstrous deviant!

[robert foster]
wait a minute: since overpopulation is a key cause of emissions
why not support liberating women and giving them
control of their fertility? wouldn’t that be the best policy
to reduce, not just climate change, but also poverty?

[pope francis]
look, i said ‘hear the cry of the poor’, not end it!
if the poor became rich we’d have even more polluting consumers to contend with

[robert foster]
but that seems like a m-ssive contradiction in your…

[pope francis]
have faith!
the lord works in mysterious ways… amen, valē

[robert foster]
and thus we close, and thank pope francis for his verses
one thing’s certain: it doesn’t take persons
of religious persuasion to appreciate the significance of this sermon
the battle occurring over climate change is first
a battle of hearts and minds, and, for better or worse
few ent-ties on earth have sway over as many minds as the catholic church
some think this ironic and absurd:
why heed the word of an archaic, p-ssé, conservative
inst-tution barely emerged from a dark age?
true. but doesn’t that description equally apply to our own way
of clinging to a bygone era’s outdated perception
of humanity’s actual place in the fabric of the planet we live on?
which raises one key final question:
is this all just another empty pious vision?
or could religion for once inspire a worthy mission:
to go forth into the world and change, not the climate
but the system

- juice rap news

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