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letra de not the sunscreen song - john safran

not the sunscreen song – john safran
if you’re unsure about what you’re going to do with your life
try to remember, some of the most interesting people didn’t know
what they were going to do at age twenty-two or even at forty
and nearly all of them are unemployed drug addicts forced to
live on cat food. also understand that friends will come and go
this is because of your irritating personality, n0body likes you
so if the only thing getting you thought the day is the misconception
that people like you, end it now. (bang)
learn how to smoke whinny blues, if you’re under aged
get an older kid to buy them for you
get to really know your parents, they’re good for money
milk them, then put them in an old people’s home
travel as often as you can, live in new york city once
live in northern california once, never live in adelaide
it’s a hole
maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have
children, maybe you won’t, if you do have children
lock them under the stairs
do one thing each day that scares you, sing, dance
jump in front of a car
do not trust anyone who tries to update sheakespeare
for the kids, and if you see quindon tarver in the street
punch him in the face for me
(smack)
if you’re worried about the way you look, try to remember
you’re probably fatter than you think, maybe you should consider
an eating disorder. don’t worry too much about the future. if
you’re nervous about an exam, ring up your school to schedule
time, and make a bomb threat. if you’re a girl, lie about period
pains to get out of anything you don’t want to do. cheat if you
think you can get away with it. remember, someone with richer
parents is getting private tuition
shop-lift as often as you can, shopping centres factor shop-
lifting into their prices, so if you don’t do it, it’s like
they’re getting money for free. when you’re on work experience
steal a cab-charge, and take a taxi to perth
wear sunscreen, but only if it’s that coconut oil that gives
you cancer. keep your old love letters, if you see an old lover
in the street, try to run them over in your car
don’t mess too much with your hair, or else by the time you’re
thirty-five, you’ll look like greg matthews
remember you can wear your underwear four times without
washing them, forwards, backwards, inside-out forwards
inside-out backwards
(bang bang bang bang)
congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres
it’s a free country, it’s public sp-ce. skateboard on war memorials
smoke in your school uniform
set off car alarms
plant drugs on a teacher
join a cult
spike drinks
don’t flush public toilets
remember, only you will truly take care of you
so carry a concealed weapon
don’t wear your ‘p’ plates
walk around with your eye lids rolled back
touch your tongue on the tip of batteries
be open to new love
remember, you can’t get pregnant the first time you have s-x
expect others to support you, it’s easy to get the doll
and still do cash in hand work
respect your elders, when your grandma dies, have her stuffed
be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when you’re knee
capped by a loan shark
get revenge, don’t forgive anyone for anything
but most of all, don’t aim too high, you’re probably only
suited to an office or factory job

- john safran

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