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letra de photophobic - hexa

[intro]
lately the lights have been blinding
and ive been stuck inside
alone, in the darkness

[verse 1]
depression k!lls, not in a physical way
slowly rips the patient’s soul, an invisible wraith
soaking through the layers of tissue within the brain
below particles of atoms in their molecular state
electrons orbit the pain in a metaphorical way
knowing it can’t change being sane you’re insane
a conscious state you’re disabled, lucidity is pain
and i don’t want to return to face that h-ll again
so i see ghosts, rhyme these thoughts
breathe smoke as i churn out a cloud
sleep goes awry, dreaming of a broken crown
these broken eyes arwe drowned in doubt
weeks go by slouched on the couch
i’ve been here for a couple years now
use the lungs i knew were still in me for sound
then i threw a shriek as loud as i could, now
ascend upwards, sprinting to the corner of the room
eyes in every corner of the home i used to know
dissevered myself from the ones i used to love cause i no longer love
heart beating loud enough to be used as sonar
feel like my ribcage ain’t protecting anything
like there arent any organs left inside me
i’ve been contemplating suicide
and i fight the nothing i feel about nothing all the time
why?
[bridge]
loosened the lid
popped in the pills
instant relief, or was it placebo?
irrelevant, it stills

[verse 2]
i woke up
bed sweatstained, breath no longer bated
there’s little light left in my diseased imagination
unconscious solace slowly began to surcease away
a gasp escapes, throw off the sheets, sat up straight
feel a spectral fatigue contradictory tired and wake
silently made my way to the kitchen really faded
i feel my night vision and preference for dark have both risen
light can’t help me navigate i was grown in the shade
wash a hundred milligrams of anti-depression down
with something both polish and one twenty proof to drown
felt the fear and ethanol react, chemically sentenced to death
endothermic combustion occured when i puked it out
there is a stench in my nostrils
like fermented screaming, grieving rotted to an extra rare, a nightmare with no dreaming
wrote another song, i told myself i tought myself real sh-t
last a couple minutes, didn’t distract me though; weed did
i leave the lights off
i feel the darkness bore itself into my head
like an interloper, a conqueror and as unnatural as it felt
i grew accustomed to my own little personal h-ll
i go out for groceries, go for weed
and for the hope that i might feel
something, anything and yet i find myself more and more entranced and hypnotized by nothing
[bridge]
no joy, no anger, no sorrow
ice, and apathetic crystallized frozen terror
i stared at myself and myself rolled it’s lifeless eyes towards me
until this thing slowly moved it’s mouth down
way too far, unnaturally far
as if its jaws were unhinged
like… me

[verse 3]
the reflection changed
schizophrenics hallucinate
but there was no reflection, wait
like a vampire on silver plates
stimuli reside in the light of day
deafening, blinding stimuli making my brain ache
the sound of communication smothering sp-ce
there’s depression, but there’s a place past that
see a shrink once a week to keep the prozac abundant
those xanax ain’t funded, my soul is repugnant
consulted the devil, shake hands with a budget
i pay him so i can pay for drugs that keep the worst away
i can’t connect with anyone, empathy evades me
the radius of dark is my domain
can no longer stay awake in the day
the only place safe is total shade
the light is blinding now
i felt a subconscious sigh emit
energy weaves through parts of the light i’m in
and yet i’m too pathetically apathetic to give a sh-t
flows ethereally in a white prescence
exposing everything in it
making me photophobic
i don’t feel fear anymore
i feel empty
i feel burnt
i feel… gone
i feel…. nothing
i feel…. no i dont, nevermind

- hexa

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