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letra de 7777777 - floral tattoo

7777777 lyrics
i was only a kid when it happened
one day, during kindergarten, i was feeling unusually tired, so i went to talk to my teacher about what i should do
she told me to lay my head down on the desk and maybe take a little nap
i was already sick with strep throat but had insisted on going to school that day anyways
even as a kindergartener, i didn’t know how to quit
anyways, i rested my head on my backpack and slowly fell asleep
the next few hours are hazy
i slip in and out of consciousness, never remembering what happens on the way over
next thing i know, i’m in a hospital
i need two shots to the leg and to stay home for a few days
when i ask what happened, they tell me i had a febrile seizure during class
they still don’t know exactly why it happened

and so life continued on
i forgot about the seizure and everything it had done
it’s probably the reason i had no friends in elementary school
“oh no, don’t play with them, they’ve got brain problems.”
regardless, i did decent in school, made it through class, et cetera
stopped believing in a god who never answered
three years pass. i don’t change that much
i get strep again and my mom makes sure that i stay home
then one night, i have a high fever. higher than my mom’s ever seen before, and she’s a nurse
later that night, it happens again

this time, when i wake up, my tongue hurts
this time, when i wake up, i get a bottle of pills
this time, when i wake up, it turns out i have a benign cyst on the right side of my brain
this time, when i wake up, something’s different
this time, when i wake up, i have a diagnosis
a seizure disorder
until that point i didn’t know there was anything wrong with me
everything will be alright in the end
because it has to

about two years later, i move from south florida to washington state
a year after that, i stop taking the meds because they aren’t doing anything now
a few years later, i realize that i’m not straight
a few more years later, i realize i’m not cisgender either
some months after that, i start taking antidepressants
i start to heal

i look back and i see the person i used to be
and i think to myself; that’s not me
those memories, that place – that’s not me
i am not that person
i was never that person

i cry a lot more now
i think it helps

this isn’t the end
unless you want it to be
unless you give up

so don’t give up

- floral tattoo

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