
letra de offensive carpool karaoke - fitz (youtube)
[song 1: jesus fell off]
hey buddy, whatchu doin’ over there?
i like the way you look wit’ yo flowing hair
you look like homeless jesus, wearin’ a cardigan
homeless jesus, homeless jesus, oh my god, oh my god, it’s jesus christ
what if jesus christ fell off?
he’s all homeless now…
because jesus fell off
he used to be so famous (jesus fell off)
the most well-known person in the world
but n0body loves him anymore (fell off)
he used to be the messiah
now he’s on the side of the road
with his thumb out looking for a ride
from anyone who could offer
homeless jesus (jesus fell off)
homeless jesus
holy homeless jesus
get you home
originally crucified on the cross
now he’s crucified in our thoughts
sittin’ on the side of the road
doin’ god knows what
i saw jesus with a needle in his arm
i saw jesus enlist in vietnam
i saw jesus smoking a pipe of crack
i saw jesus on the corner, hiring strippers, in his cadillac
jesus drives a pink cadillac (jesus fell off, off, he fell off)
he’s driving a limo all day long (jesus fell off, he fell off, yeah)
he used to be my hero
now the only hero he knows is heroine, jesus fell off
jesus fell off
jesus fell off
[song 2: the ballad of fitz]
sitting in the seat of the car
i cannot help but think
about how we’re all come so far
i haven’t uploaded in like two years
i’m feeling good
i do not care
my name is fitz
n0body understands what that is
what that ain’t
roo-doo-doo-stumpin-bay-bay
[song 3: the farm (little dog, little lady, little boy)]
hey little dog hanging out the window
hey little dog, how’s it going?
hey little dog, can you bark for me?
okay
hey little lady come up to dog
petting on the dog and feeling real good
lady gonna drive off into the sun
liddle-liddle-luddle-dog-did
okay now, we’ll see you later now
you make sure you have a good day there
and a beautiful weekend
it’s a beautiful day
now we’re starting up the old engine
gonna take the car back to the old farm
everybody ’round here loves to do
de-dee-lay-do-ana-godd-mn-boo
hey little boy pushing on that trolly
look at that la-da-do-dum-da-dum
sittin’ in the parking lot in the car
we need to get real far
we’ve got about three hours of drive
i ain’t lookin’ forward to it one lil’ bit (no)
gotta sit next to this ole b-tch
tobi is her name
she complains all the d-mn time
about my guitar playing (your guitar sucks)
my guitar is awesome and you know it
and i’m gonna play it the whole d-mn trip (this sucks…)
no it doesn’t, i know that you like it (it’s like i’m stuck in f-ckin’ purgatory)
well, ain’t that something? (yeah, that is something…)
[song 4: britz and gossipz and]
come on down to britz hair and beauty
phone number +6 (136) 265-2331
if you’re depressed and alone
and don’t wanna be that anymore
head on to britz, we’ll clean you up real nice
britz will do your hair
and britz will listen to your gossip
britz will tell your gossip to the next lady that comes in
did you hear barbra? she cheated on kyle (that b-tch)
and then… kyle f-cked me in the back of the bathroom
kyle f-cked me in the back of the bathroom
and then he came on my face
and i liked the taste, it felt real good
who’s this guy in the van next to us? (oh no)
it’s a van, man in the van
he locks the van and he walks into coles
blink-182 shirt
he likes to listen to all the… of the small things
[song 5: all the small things (extra chromocover)]
all the small things
truth care, truth brings
i’ll take one lift
your ride, best trip
always, i know
you’ll be at my show
watching, waiting
commiserating
say it ain’t so
i will not go
turn the lights off
carry me home
na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na
na-na, na-na-na, nanarun-dun-dun-diddle-dun-dun-dun
a-na-na-niddle-a-na-na-na-na
ay, ay, ay, oh, ay-oh, ay oh
[song 6: waiting (for chicken)]
we’re stuck in the carpark
and we are f-ckin’ bored
we’re waiting for them
to be done in the shops
my mum’s a b-tch
and she always takes too long
i hope she picks up some chicken
i love chicken
we’re heading back to the farm
that’s what sam said
i’m looking forward
to getting f-cked in the head
[song 7: song for my spouse]
the mother of my children is a filthy lying wh0re
a filthy lying wh0re, yeah, a filthy lying wh0re (oh yeah)
going at the rancho duh duh filthy lying wh0re
she’s a filthy lying wh0re, and she’s sucking on all these c-cks
these c-cks, big c-cks, she’s sucking on all these c-cks (filthy lying wh0re, filthy lying wh0re)
filthy lying, filthy, filthy, filthy lying wh0re
one day my mother
[song 8: small town ignorance]
goin’ to the servo, to fill her up with gas
goin’ to the servo, we’ve gotta get there really fast
h-llo chris, you’re a f-cking c-nt
you’re a w-nker, and you look like a punk
f-ck you chris, i don’t like you a lot
you look like a big socky jock
a what?
i don’t know i just-
a socky jock?
a socky jock! sounds like a bit of an insult
you’re a poofter, and i don’t like your face
i don’t like people of the other race
i live in a small town, they don’t educate me much
all’s i know is, i really don’t give a f-ck
i don’t give a f-ck, i don’t give a f-ck
if you see a gay you call them a f-ggot (call them a f-ggot)
and if you see a trans you call them a tranny (call them a tranny)
and if you see both they’re so f-cked up (ay, ay, ay, ay, ay)
’cause we’re from a small town where we have no rights for them c-nts (no rights for them c-nts, no rights for them c-nts, you can get the f-ck out)
i’m gay! i’m a f-ggot!
i’m gay and she’s a tranny
i’m gay and a tranny
f-ck this small town madness, i wanna leave
ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay
ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay
[song 9: jesus fell off (reprise)]
mary and joseph went to the barn one day
and there they laid all night
jesus came out mary’s p-ssy tight
and joseph said “mary, we haven’t have s-x”
and mary said “this is the son of christ” (son of christ)
the son of our lord (son of christ, son of christ)
he came to me at night (he came to me, he came in me)
and he said “mary, what i’ve given you will change your life, forever”
three strange men came to the stables that night
one carrying frankincense, the other myrrh (one carying gold as well)
and they all decided he was the messiah
messiah, messiah
jesus was a slave-owner (our savior)
he ran a cotten farm (he was our lord, ay-ee-oh-ay, ay-imm-nye-oh)
abraham lincoln k!lled jesus
put him on a cross
now it’s modern times and it appears that jesus christ is no more
he hasn’t been around for centuries to come
and jesus christ is ever uttered in a swear or a curse of some light
with all his mi-ight (it was always gonna be bad)
jesus fell off (jesus fell off)
n0body knows what happened (n0body gives a single mother f-ck about jesus no more)
jesus fell off (jesus fell off, jesus fell off)
jesus fell off, fell off, fell off, fell off, fell off
[song 10: cum on the grass (what it’s like to be a cow)]
you know, fitz (what’s that tobi?)
i always thought to myself, i thought “what’s it like being a cow?” (well…)
we go, we stroll around the pastures all day and night, nibbling on all the grass
but out here, fitz, i see a little problem
i don’t know if you’ve noticed, fitz, but there’s a lot of dead grass out there (say?)
a lot of nice, white course grass
that didn’t seem too yummy for no cows (okay…)
so what are we gonna do about it, then? (i don’t know…)
say, i just got an idea (what’d you get?)
why don’t we…
cum on the grass (ooh!)
that ought to get it growin’ fast
we gotta cum on the grass (that’s right, tobi, now you’re getting it)
cum all over the grass (that’s right)
get all that protein in the soil
little cummies swimming through the fibers
swimming all through the fibers of life
it’s like a worm but microscopic
resurrecting the grass
everybody go out there and cum on the grass
don’t go around and lay your ass
unless you’re cumming on the grass
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