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letra de first crush - ed

ahhh my first crush
yup
kind of weird

it started by awkward h-llos and hi’s
that’s when we were in 9th
since then time has really went by
we had that spark but then you decided to turn it off
we shared opinions and thoughts about everything
like our first time experimenting with drugs
you said you tried weed once but didn’t like it
years later i’m asking you if i should
you said don’t try it
i was at your aid when you and your boyfriend were fighting
he left you crying
calling me for the first time over the phone
hearing your sniffles then making you giggle
telling you you were beautiful
i couldn’t see but i knew i made you smile
but then you got back with him
and i had to stand there with an artificial grin
you were carefree as can be because you used me
but came crawling back whenever you needed sympathy
why didn’t you want me?

now you’re doin superb
tied severs with your family, working, and soon moving to new jersey
looking for the smallest sign of hope
then one day your name pops up on my phone
it says hi
we went back and fourth until you didn’t reply
the next day i sent a message saying hey! what are you doing?
you said just got home,i’m tired and hurt
waiting for my boyfriend to get off work
those words on the text made me fathom
that i was zilch
we had a drought of not conversing
now you substituted me for another boyfriend?

hope you hear this song and it knocks some sense into your head
i was there for you when you had issues with your parents, your exs, even when your grandmother was on her death bed
this game has been going on long enough
maybe god didn’t want us to be togetha
then how come he put you in my life?
did he want me to know what missing out on the love of your life was like?
you were a piece of gold in the titanic
now everything is at the ocean floor cuz of an ice berg
you ignored my every attempt of expanding our relationship
you never wanted me for me
i was your therapist who gave you advice and compliments
we had nothing in common but i knew we could overcome that problem

i loved your hair that went down to your waist
your hazel eyes with your flawless face
why did i aim when my iron sights were crooked and you shrouded the gaping hints?
cuz i thought i had a chance
maybe i did love the behind of your pants
but that doesn’t mean nothing
when we chatted i felt something
from all the years we’ve known each other you’ve never said or wrote out my name
was it cuz you were afraid of the acknowledgement?
i told you i had your back whenever you needed it
you told me you had scoliosis
not many know this
i can’t help but yammer how i feel about you
i’m not encomp-ssing the times when your brothers said they would thrash me and told me to stop speaking
i forgive you for those moments when you forgot about me and when i spotted your nudes
i did all i could
i hold no regrets
said everything except this
i loved handling your concerns
or if you wanted to bloviate about silly topics
i didn’t care if there were pictures of you topless
i wanted to be with you
get to know you personally
share stories and be best-friends
hang out once and see where it lead us
but you
didn’t give me that opportunity
i’ve been crushed by a crush

maybe the farther we depart
the better it’ll be
why didn’t you want me?
i still the remember the first time we met
how bout you?

- ed

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