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letra de on the line - derooted

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if this doesn’t take off, the way i hoped it
i’m afraid of my reaction, i’m quite compulsive
budge when pressured, tend to get destructive
thought patterns when emotions get repulsive

it’s counterproductive, to behave this way
deconstructing my history and people relate
wasn’t ready for the reaction it gave
people listening intently to the words i use to phrase

how i grew up, or what i’m going through now
about when i was stuck, or how i found a way out
when i was way down, the wrong path without an escape route
was the scapegoat in this insane house

i won’t call it home, cuz it wasn’t what i made out
when i puzzled together pieces, that i laid out
i found a different picture than the one that u gave out
_

nowadays when i wake and i catch the sunrise
i reminisce about the days
when i couldn’t find my way
i was losing my mind

cuz i was running from the pain that i felt inside
reliving every moment when i close my eyes
but in the darkness, man i learn how to shine
putting everything i own, got my soul on the line
_
constantly questioning myself
second guessing my every step when knowing it doesn’t help
always been this way, can’t really remember else
yet in my head i’m ten steps ahead of myself

and i remember when, it caught my attention
i was great at giving advice and then pretend them
didn’t apply to my own declining comprehension
on how we didn’t work and had to end it

off in a odd way, know we all change
i wasn’t ready at all, or maybe i was?
it wasn’t all waste? i remember all days

you were only a call away, now i’m always
contemplating all alone at home
no one who knows me fully on the fault of my own
wasn’t smart i know, to let obstacles
lead the road i followed down this path i’ve chosen so..

_

nowadays when i wake and i catch the sunrise
i reminisce about the days
when i couldn’t find my way
i was losing my mind
cuz i was running from the pain that i felt inside
reliving every moment when i close my eyes
but in the darkness, man i learn how to shine
putting everything i own, got my soul on the line

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