letra de dancing plague - dave malloy
(the wind of a medieval dancing plague enters. 497 years ago fills the room.)
contestants:
dancing plague
dancing plague
post-medieval rats
and hilarious french hats
and also certain death
(the commentators town cry.)
(mo bends over with head in the stocks. perpendicular angle.)
samson:
anon n0ble lords, n0ble ladies of strasbourg!
mo:
bourg bourg bourg bourg—
samson:
how fairest thee all?
(collective groans/boos/hisses from the contestants/dancers.)
jaynie:
that means “good” in feudal french!
contestants:
if i was sixteen
in 1518
i’d already be half dead
so dance me to death
i’m ready
(ellie & zander are on a positive feedback loop of motion and
adrenaline.)
ellie & zander:
this is incredible
i’ve never felt so alive
ellie:
i feel good
zander:
you feel good?
ellie:
yes i do
zander:
so do i
ellie:
that makes me feel good
jaynie:
historical fact: in 1518, a mass hysteria swept strasbourg, france
mo:
a dancing plague
samson:
the strasbourg munic-p-l council did, for the sake of the common justice, make guildhalls so the afflicted souls might caper then to music!
jaynie:
and thus not suffer idly writhing awkwardly
mo:
silently so silently silently
samson:
if they by dance must march towards their demise, ’tis fitting to set their end to song
jaynie:
attend as the afflicted in their adrenaline-addled madness dance their hearts out!
samson:
tis no crime to stare!
mo:
i would stare too
contestants:
dancing plague
dancing plague
ellie & zander:
why do they complain
this is better than cocaine
contestants:
dancing to our death
samson:
poor abused europe just stricken by the plague of bubonic
jaynie:
the black death
samson:
twas one rough “dark ages.”
jaynie:
at least this plague has fewer rats
(as the rats nibble at mo’s feet.)
mo:
fewer rats doesn’t mean no rats!
jaynie:
don’t squirm
contestants:
if i was sixteen
in 1518
i’d already be half dead
so dance me to death
i’m ready
grace:
how did you get it?
tye:
i got it from my mom
fa la la la la
how did you get it?
harper:
i got it from the meat
fa la la la la
janelle:
you look so sweet
when you dance medievally
fa la la la la
harper:
fa la la la la…
not here janelle!
janelle:
sorry
samson:
tis no crime to throw rotten vegetables!
jaynie:
yet your aim must be precise and your arm quick, for those stricken by dance shall never
stop nor rest they in a single fixèd place
samson:
wherefore be it not right to throw rocks?
dakota:
how did you get it?
janelle:
maybe from a friend
oh my god cyrus
did i get this from you?
cyrus:
how did you get it?
royshanna:
maybe from the weed
fa la la la la
dakota, royshanna & nicki:
give me a pie
and a flagon of mead
fa la la la la
fa la la la la
fa la la la la
(samson ducks a rotten tomato.)
samson:
soft you now, what was that?
jaynie:
a rotten tomato?
samson:
nay not at us. tis not us whom you should catapult with rotten vegetables!
jaynie:
tarry nave! cans’t thou do no better than a rotten tomato?!
mo:
how about throwing a goose? a succulent goose!
(samson ducks a rock.)
samson:
was that a rock?
ellie & zander:
this is incredible
i’ve never felt so alive
my brain chemicals
are cooking in overdrive
(sprint siren and strobe light)
jaynie
hold fast, and hark! we entereth a sprint!
ellie & zander:
keep going keep going going
i’ll never sleep again
keep going keep going going
i’m using like 98% of my brain
keep going keep going going
my mind is unstuck in time
contestants:
my arm has a mind of it’s own
my leg is doing things i don’t think a leg should do
i keep telling my hips to stop but they don’t stop
they won’t stop
i don’t wanna be a zombie zombie
i don’t wanna tear myself apart
what if there’s hair
what if there’s blood
what if there’s all sorts of gooey stuff i don’t recognize
(ellie and zander are dancing themselves nearly to heart attacks.)
samson:
why act they thus?
jaynie:
i understand not what they do…
mo:
yeah what are they doing? no really – someone tell me – i can’t see anything bent over at this angle
contestants:
they’re speeding up
ellie & zander:
excellence
contestants:
they’re going nuts
ellie & zander:
accelerated
contestants:
they’re spazzing out
they’re blacking out
ellie & zander:
accelerated excellence
dj:
the metaphor couldn’t be clearer!
(dj hits the air h-rn.)
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