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letra de malevolent thoughts - cognitive

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unwelcome visions
of my own demise
creeping
sneaking
into my mind
veins collapsing
as capillaries burst
trachea crushed in the death knot
gravity
pulls me
into the world below
the traffic light turns green
the cars behind me
all blaring their h-rns
in synchronicity

how long have i
been held captive
by these intrusive thoughts?
fantasizing
of a world without me
unwillingly
these disfiguring phantasms
ever lingering in my dreams
you aren’t welcome here
still my beating heart
alleviate the burden of
existence
still my beating heart
forevermore

i don’t want to feel
i don’t want to feel like this
anymore

notions of self conclusion
writhe like worms
in fertile soil

will those whom i’ve left behind
forgive me
for succumbing
to the voice in my head
that says i’m better off dead?
i can’t help but to believe it

reflections
yelling back at me
admonishing
you will not amount to anything
you do not deserve to even breath
to breath
lock the door
stand up on the stool to reach
the rope that will set you free
step off the edge to be at peace
sweet release
returning
back to reality
now i see
that my thoughts
aim to destroy me
but i’m coping
i’m surviving
i will find my peace

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