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letra de the storm. (demo) - byron henderson

[intro]
something a lot of people don’t realize is that sometimes, home can be a person. with that said, depending on the circ-mstances, you may not be home very often. so really, you just get used to it and make the best of it

[verse]
rina, i know you’re looking down in disbelief right now
cause psychically, i’m looking like a recipe for disaster
mental state just dissipates with every sentence i spit
and every rumor bout your death to me sounds more like laughter
whole school turned to tmz
and here i am, couldn’t say a word
for most the day, i had to act like it never even occurred
i was exhausted, hadn’t slept in a few days
i should’ve known friday, i’d lose you in like two days
so my vision’s blurred, phone as dry as my tear ducts
i didn’t speak for months, even after it cleared up
and i don’t go to funerals, not even for you, dawg
i wanted proof, but didn’t need to know it was true, dawg
i should’ve seen it coming, i knew something was off
the last time i saw your face, a lot of love had been lost
you were best friends with a stranger every other day, it pains me to say
that fall is dangerous, more dangerous than i can convey
as years p-ss, my condition seems to worsen
more often than not, i don’t even feel like a person
i’m at work and all i see is you
shopping, all i see is you
hallucinations constantly haunting me like my demons do
never thought i’d be this sick
i lost you, i lost matt, and i lost time
like a decade off of my life
kels, time’s right
rina, i’m like, you’re hanging?
i’m trying to hang too
i’m trying to get rid of pain too
promised plenty things, but all i have left to give is a thank you

[outro]
so, i’ve been walking for a few hours, and just… doing some thinking. that’s what we’ll call it. and i think with everything going on, the best thing for me to do right now is k!ll myself. not “k!ll myself, k!ll myself”, but whatever has had control of me for the past ten years; whatever has been holding me hostage and taking my life away from me, it has to go. i can’t do this. i can’t. i can’t keep seeing her, and getting text messages from her, and then talk to kelsey as if everything is ok. nothing about this is ok. she’s getting in the way, and it’s not her. i probably sound like i’m going crazy, and maybe i am. but if i can do this, then maybe i’ll be able live again. because this right here? this is making me never want to see marina again. ever. i can’t really be around kelsey, who is my best friend, because she probably doesn’t even know who i am. i don’t even know who or what i am at this point. i just know i’m done. i at least know that. my baby can’t be around me like this. so, i have to do something. something…

- byron henderson

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