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letra de th..ghts.ndpr.y.rs - bogii

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“what an unimaginable experience, to be.”

[hook]
every second it feels like i’m watched
and i’m watching my life just tick off the clock

[verse 1]
can’t move, can’t breathe, don’t know what it means
but i hope it moves on eventually
as my chest starts to seize
in the absence of a break, a possible breeze feels as a
tree stripped of both bark and leaves
as a freak to pass with the cadence “pardon me”
a geek to last, hardwired crass
too meek to mask, a tired ass
the freak to chastise thosе of the past
yet tear down thosе deemed to move too fast
a misfit of misfits, puts coal on his wish-list
to hope for a christmas that holds at least one gift
immediate in regretting the opportunity; he feels he’s p-ssed it
and reverts to rhyming sh-t with b-tch, so now it’s
back to running serendipitous with attention to the littlest
detail fiddled with; vocabulary riddled with a
clear infatuation for the ends to meet the middle of a
dodecahedron; bypassing logic and reason, believe him
he’s never known how to fit in
how to talk to men and women
how to function as a human being
but he’s got the passion for the minute, so go run it back to the
beginning, and let us see just how he manages a mission
colorful language is the way he masquerades
designs fine feminine rhyme to detract mistakes
for a blood sugar spike it’s the coins that he scr-pes
to be elate, yet to secure a physique he hates
he feels fake
and his persona is his only saving grace
he had pictures to paint
but they locked up the colors for a chance of rain

[hook]
every second it feels like i’m watched
and i’m watching my life just tick off the clock

[verse 2]
i don’t know i’ve ever liked people
in terms of being worthless, i guess we’re all equal
maybe i do
but what’s the point of feelin’ so blue?
to stay true
to the colors of the past of you?
nah. that’s to the past of i
“wanna f-ckin’ die” and every day a lie
until the day that i chose to not wrap myself in a blanket of bark and sleep forever that night
i don’t wanna’ fight
and i can give you five reasons why
not metaphorical, but more phalangeal
the least i can say is counting t–th is more manageable

so that third appointment was reality’s official seal
that brought to fruition all of my past assumptions; now real
the secluded chaos that has been in the same spot
that red string of consciousness that is gordian’s knot
didn’t want flop
didn’t want to stop
couldn’t stop if i begged and pleaded for a recess
try my best not to regress
so here we go again for the picnics

for the kitkats, for the beats to play back
for the very thing i’m avoiding; in a way a relapse
in a way it’s life for the nonexistent
“tata for now” and i’m gone fishing
until the sun collapse
imma have fun for all the missed naps, missed abs
so i don’t know when i’ll come back
but ll said it’s not like that
[hook]
every second it feels like i’m watched
and i’m watching my life just tick off the clock

[verse 3]
and when the hand strikes 12
that’s when i find my h-ll
so i’m sorry to
anyone that tried to wish me well
but your thoughts and prayers created my cell
when i stood at the edge of that pool
and realized that everything had panned out
i realized my past the fool and began to
shift my worldview from the abyss of doubt
so what now?
f-ck it up

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