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letra de bo fo sho (live) - bo burnham

okay, on that note, i’m gonna rap
[cheering]
heh, yeah

walkin’ my poodles, man it never gets old
with my dogs on my leash i got b-tches on the hold
a first aids kit? that’s a rhesus monkey
i bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie!

i get more -ss than a giant donkey stable
i got more lines than whitney houston’s coffee table
i get more head than grammar school lice
i’m like a walkin’ glacier i’m so decked out with ice

hey, jesus loves you as long as you’re white
did you p–p a virgin? cause that sh-t is tight
hey, i’m blowin’ up like i thought i would
i’m circ-mcised ’cause i don’t come from the hood
yo, i do drugs in the bedroom, lie on your back
cause i got the pipe and you got the crack
though i’m s-xually straight, you’re bound to find
i’m mentally g-y, cause i’ll blow your mind, ma’am
yo, the parents be snickerin’, “he shouldn’t have written it”
but i’m constipated, couldn’t give a sh-t
what, motherf-cker?
what, yo
yeah, this kid’s a virgin

my name is bo
my name is bo fo sho
a born bostonian
aryan librarian at the wordsmith-sonian
the rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity
i gave it this little part to give it continuity
uh, f-ckin’ feel it yeah
yo, huh? where are we? yeah

and the fellas say
hey moron p-ss the gin
cause i’m an ozymoron breathing oxygen
give me the bottle, i’ll chug two-thirds
’cause you b-tches know fractions speak louder than words

and the ladies say
hey fellas i’m keepin it tight, and if you play your cards right you can have me tonight
should i blow you or beat you, br-ss or percussion?
oh, stop, period, end of discussion

yo, my name is bo fo sho
a born bostonian
aryan librarian at the wordsmith-sonian
the rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity
i gave it this little part to give it continuity

walking through the garden, food at my feet, picked up the celery but dropped the beet
yeah
and then i picked it up, and it-
there’s music, it gets faster

alright, let’s end this

we’re in the hood, i’ll take what you give me
was einstein’s theory good, relatively
a smart queen’s kingdom, it doesn’t mix
a litter of literates, a bunch of moby d-cks
“get thee to a punnery” oh, just ophelia
take you with a condom, stainless steel ya
half a pound of turkey breast, half a pound of chicken t-ts
why are only crackers staying at the ritz?
poverty, racism, isn’t it strange
that only the homeless are beggin for change?
i shocked sherlock
what, son?
rosa parks didn’t call “shotgun!”
here’s a little bit of irony
a ford focus driver has add
how’d i come to master all these things?
like a tampon thief, i had to pull some strings

- bo burnham

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