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letra de convalescent - almost always

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i watched my hands set fire
to the corners of my house
blood, sweat, trash and fear
mere ash in a burn pile
lord, know i can’t turn back
my own skin charred black
harrowed bones to smoke and ashes
won’t find it swept and clean
old home for demons in me
with all the h-ll burnt out of it
burnt out of it

near-constant need for reminding
that it’s in your heart to be healing me
a hope for blueprints in ashes
flames devouring old eviction notices

i already tried putting up my best fight
on hands and knees i scoured things
clean enough to see me staring back
on feet of clay bound and begging just to break
i see your hand beckoning to shed
and burn that skin before i crawl back in

near-constant need for reminding
that it’s in your heart to be healing me
hope for blueprints in ashes
flames devouring old eviction notices

i’m finally willing to bend my knee willingly
i’ve made a mess of ruling me
in as bad of shape as i’ve ever been
wholly reliant to keep what you evicted
from coming back in

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