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letra de humanity - alice collier

part one: the awakening

never felt pretty growing up
so now i over s-xualise myself
i have no sense of self
so i don’t know if i love you
i overthink and overshare
but people still don’t know sh-t about me
wrapped up in the bullsh-t
can’t see the love around me
the anger inside me is boiling down
but my tears are running out
i get the blame when you’re the one who found me
found me
found me
crown me

if i was crazy
then you’d know it
if i was alivе
then you’d see it
thinking late at night
the mind won’t brеak
he’s on my mind
but all i think now is
am i a joke to you?
always having to be ok
cause when i get mad
laugh till the punchline
point your fingers
like all bridges burned were just crimes
take my awkwardness out of context
say that i’m a b-tch
i was fine being alone
untill he walked in
got up and left
i went around the town
2, 3 and 4
stoped there just to breathe
cause i had my eyes on someone
but this someone couldn’t take any of my hints
and i waited and waited and waited
still here
still waiting
one more step
one more step
i am ruined
everything in my body is broken
no hope to live
i’m tainted
one more step
one more step
one more step
part two: the nightmares

lost in my mind
lost my mind
i cried and cried
dressed up all the time
woke up way to early
so i could have hours to get ready
all for a second of your attention
and when it was not reciprocated
it made me fall deep into you
dressed so feminine
to compensate
so i’m dying pink black
and cutting off snakes
its been 15 years of the same old sh-t
give me a break
so right now
i’m levelling up
so n0body else can touch me
but right now i want you to touch me
please

i’ve lived fast
gonna die young
5, 6 and 7
just to numb the pain
i try to say that i’m okay
but i’m going insane
f-ck you
don’t know your name
but you all made me this way
poison in my blossoming fields
i notice everything
but say nothing
i say nothing
it’s my princ-p-l
i keep quiet
i keep quiet
but now i’m sick of being dead silent
the closet is open
the doors and the windows
the people who did me wrong
will pay
i’m a bit crazy
cause i miss you baby
and the person i used to be
now it seems like a distance
i’m sick of the picture
the picture of me
the one with black hair
spelled out your mans favourite dream
i’m finally free
if i was dead
i wanna be free
my insanity
its what makes me me
do you still love me?
would you still want me?
if wasn’t a weight of a stick
didn’t have my luscious lips
or the length my hair to width
will you remember me?
cause i’ll be forgetting you
this wasn’t part of the plan

part three: acceptance

everything’s ruined
i built a person
and it’s crumbled
last night dreams
midnights, keep me humbled
is this what is left of me?
broken pieces
is this what the world is like?
i had a make a whole person just to survive
culture is dying
feel it’s heart dead inside
it’s waiting for humanity
it’s waiting for people to wake up
and realise they’ve wasted their lives
crashed all your dreams

i’m so grateful that
i have my dreams
safely in my pocket
took a year off
just to breathe
looking for my family
wishing them nothing but glee
head was full of things that never really mattered
was dead for years straight
now it’s filled with life
and dreams i can’t wait to fulfil
f-ck characters and personas
this is me
i got my humanity
now my violets blooming red
i got my humanity
but i know this isn’t the end

- alice collier

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