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letra de aaaa - zakk scott

[produced by d-lyt]

[verse 1: denial]
no, i don’t believe this, you can’t be gone
i can’t and won’t accept that you’ve left and abandoned me mom
you promised you’d stay forever, said to me “more memories to be made together”
you’re not gone, knock on wood and maybe this’ll change for better
god wouldn’t take you from me, it’s not your time to go yet
why would god take you from me? god this makes no sense
so no i don’t think you’re gone, in fact i know that i’ll hear from you soon
so i can say “i love you,” and you can say “i love you too.”

[verse 2: depression]
i’ve realized that you’re not coming back, no more denial i’m done with that
enough of that covered in bubble wrap cr-p, depression is next up to bat
3 years of this mental juggling act plus an emotional shoving match
mom since you left me i’ve felt empty, something f-cking snapped
i don’t know if i’ll ever really recover from having lost you
because as a result of losing you, i became lost too
inside this boy is a giant void, i avoid friends, no one gets inside
because i’m afraid there’s gonna come a day when again i’ll be left behind
and my family keeps sayin the same old sh-t, that i should move on
well f-ck them because i don’t want to move on, all i want is you mom
i miss you more than i could ever put to words on this track
you were my everything, i’m not sure that you sense the impact
that you left when you left, my mind hasn’t been intact since that
in fact i’m not your kid zakk, that big loving heart of his cracked
something inside of him went snap, and now you’ll never get him back
i just wish that you could be here, your presence don’t need no gift wrap

[verse 3: anger]
mom now you got me mad, and every thought of you sickens me
whatever happened to you saying “zakk i’ll be back and you can come live with me?”
you lied about that, didn’t you? you didn’t want me to f-cking come live with you
you lied to me in every phone call and email that i’d get from you!
and sadly i’d listen too! to every time you fed me lies
“oh, sobering up is rough but i’m tough, yeah mommy’s getting by”
bullsh-t! you chose to drink over your family!
selfish and full of sh-t, did you think a bit about how that would damage me?
you let me and my brother down, made going to bars a habit
and you know what i got for a mother now? a jar of ashes!
you chose to leave me behind, that’s what i keep inside and what eats me alive
that’s why i still hurt, why i feel worse, 5 years after you’ve died
you beat me i show you love through it, then you leave me, what a big “f-ck you kid”
are you even aware, do you even care i almost k!lled myself over what you did?
and now i have all these issues and questions i’ll never get answers to
and f-ck you god for doing this, how could you do this? what kind of man are you?

[verse 4: acceptance]
mom i’m sorry for what i said, it’s not your fault you were sick
i just had so much pent up emotion i didn’t know what to do with it
but no more denial, no more depression, no more anger, only acceptance
i’ll admit i’m still lost without you but i’m gonna try to find direction
maybe regain my faith in god, i’m an atheist hope for your sake i’m wrong
but i never worry because you’re on my journey i wear your jewelry and won’t take it off
i just want to make you proud, and do whatever it takes to fill the void
and though i’m becoming a man, i’ll always be your little boy

- zakk scott

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