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letra de i hate my roommate - whitney peyton

[intro, whitney peyton and ileigha kohoutek]

-phone rings-
whitney: h-llo?

ileigha: heeey whit! so, i know you’re all working late, but on your way home if you could get me some milk, uhm, some cream for my coffee.. i like 2% milk if you can get hold that’s fine but i actually like soy that would be great. i also need some condoms, if you could just do that for me that would be so awesome. thanks so much, byeee

whitney: da f-ck?

[verse 1]
listen, everyday i wake up i wish
i missed your add on craigslist
now i’m stuck with you and your boyfriend too
b-tch, don’t make me get violent
where are my leftovers?
i put them in the fridge last night (da f-ck)
next to the milk on the shelf by the right
then i woke up late with an appet-te
to find – you ate that sh-t?
partyfowl
so i dumped all your bacardi out
all you do is drink
and you never clean
and you never even try to take the garbage out
i think our neighbours hate us
and i know why
you had a party last night, and then threw up outside (ew)

[chorus]
dear roomie
i really hate your guts
you leave a bunch of sh-t around
and never pick it up
and your boyfriend, boyfriend
i won’t even pretend
that i like that guy
he eats my food and doesn’t pay the rent (f-ck that)

[bridge]
(mo-mo-move out) move out!
(mo-mo-move out) you gotta go!
(mo-mo-move out) leave!
(mo-mo-move out) b-tch, please

[verse 2]
in my room tryna study for a test
but i can’t really do it ’cause
you’re f-cking having s-x so loud
and the landlord sent me twenty texts, i
wrote a check but you didn’t pay the rent, b-tch
ugh, i’mma choke you!
when the lease ends, we are so through
take your man, take the cat, take the car and the ugly -ss couch
that sh-t’s gotta go too
ugh, you’re in the bathroom – like all the time
taking fifty selfies, b-tch
you really ain’t that fine
i gotta pee
come on
yo, i really gotta go
don’t you have a job?
okay, i’mma write a note
there’s something you gotta know

[bridge]
(mo-mo-move out) move out!
(mo-mo-move out) you gotta go!
(mo-mo-move out) leave!
(mo-mo-move out) b-tch, please

[spoken]
whitney: look at this, this place looks horrible
ileigha: ugh, are you kidding me?
whitney: f-cking trash everywhere. is that a..
ileigha: shut the f-ck up, you don’t even know
whitney: is that a condom? is that a used condom in the f-cking bathtub?
ileigha: no it’s not. it’s probably from you last night
whitney: who the f-ck has s-x in the bathtub? you’re 25!
ileigha: no, you don’t even know what you’re talking about. shut up
whitney: we all use this bathroom. this is not your personal bathroom, all right? i have to shower in this shower
illeigha: don’t even start with me, girlfriend
whitney: i have to shower in this shower
ileigha: you don’t even understand right now, okay

[bridge]
(mo-mo-move out) move out!
(mo-mo-move out) you gotta go!
(mo-mo-move out) leave!
(mo-mo-move out) b-tch, please

[outro, zack hansen]
hey, are you guys fighting?
do you know where the hot cheetos are?
no? okay

- whitney peyton

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