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letra de to thine own self - wayne kirkpatrick

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[nigel]
nick, just read it. i really think i’m onto something here

[nick]
i am reading … and where’s the omelette?

[nigel]
there is no omelette

[nick]
what do you mean there’s no omelette? there has to be an omelette. it’s called omelette!

[nigel]
ugghh …
are you hearing yourself?

[nick]
what?

[nigel]
nick, are you hearing yourself?

[nick]
yes

[nigel]
i can’t believe we’re having a conversation
about a story that has to be all about eggs

[nick]
so?

[nigel]
eggs??

[nick]
yes

[nigel]
what is it with you and these eggs?

[nick]
you just have to trust me
i know what i’m doing

[nigel]
i think that you’re out of your mind
if you think that pursuing that is a good thing

[nick]
well, i do

[nigel]
okay, well i don’t

[peter quince]
read him this part – it’s beautiful

[nigel]
doesn’t matter. he won’t listen

[shakespeare (as toby)]
i should really take these before this turns ugly

[francis flute]
just read him what you wrote

[nick]
what the hell are they talking about?

[nigel]
you asked me to write something. well, here it is!

[chorus: nigel]
sure as the day follows the night
sure as the sky turns to blue
this much i know, this much is true
above all else in whatever you do

[nigel/troupe]
to thine own self be true

[nick]
that’s it?

[tom snout]
it’s beautiful!

[francis flute]
it’s like – good line and good advice!

[shakespeare (as toby)]
i don’t know. i thought the whole breakfast theme was really strong. everyone loves breakfast!

[nick]
exactly! but there’s no danish, there’s no ham, there’s no breakfast at all! you’re completely ignoring the theme!

[nigel]
i’m ignoring the “breakfast theme” because it’s ridiculous!

[nick]
are you hearing yourself?

[nigel]
nick …

[nick]
i said – are you hearing yourself?

[nigel]
yes!

[nick]
i can’t believe you’re trying to change direction cause
you’ve decided that my ideas are wrong

[nigel]
please …

[nick]
i’m wrong
but this “true to yourself” thing is right?

[nigel]
that’s not just a line it’s what i believe

[nick]
then you are a fool and really naïve –
if you think – it’s as simple as that

[nigel]
well, i do

[nick]
okay, well i don’t

[nigel]
ugh

[troupe]
so what do we do …?

[nigel]
this is hopeless. i don’t know how to get through to you!

[troupe]
so what do we do …?

[nigel]
nick – the fact that you think that omelette is good? it worries me!

[troupe]
so what do we do
what do we do
what do we do …

[nigel]
guys? can you help me out here!?

[francis flute]
you really should listen, nick. it just makes your heart wanna soar!

[chorus: troupe]
sure as the day follows the night
sure as the sky turns to blue
this much i know, this much is true
above all else in whatever you do
to thine own self be true

[nick]
you want some truth? here’s the truth –
“omelette” will be known as perhaps the single greatest play ever written!

[nigel]
how can you possibly know that??

[nick]
i just do!

[troupe]
so what do we do …?

[nick]
it will be talked about for generations to come

[troupe]
so what do we do …?

[nick]
we need a hit – not some audience-repelling
death-play about your descent into madness!

[troupe]
so what do we do
what do we do

[nigel]
this descent into madness? – that’s you!

[troupe]
what do we do – oooooh

[nigel]
nick – i mean it. whatever happened to the guy who inspired me to become a writer?

[nick]
he finally has a great idea! now, we open in
a week. are you gonna help me write omelette
or not?

[nigel]
no

[nick]
no??

[nigel]
no – i can’t. it doesn’t feel right. and deep down
i think it doesn’t feel right to you either

[troupe]
so what do we do …?

[nick]
i’ll tell you what we do …

[troupe]
so what do we do …?

[nick]
we serve up what they’re hungry for!

[troupe]
so what do we do …?

[nick]
omelette – the musical!

[troupe]
so what do we do …?

[nick]
we’re on our way to glory
we’ll play for kings and queens
and there and then they’ll see
the end will justify the means

[troupe]
the end will justify the means
sure as the day follows the night

[nick]
surely we must see this through

[troupe]
okay, if you say so

[nick]
d-mned if i don’t

[troupe]
don’t!

[nick]
d-mned if i do!

[troupe]
do!

[nick]
d-mn it, i don’t have the luxury to
hang all my hope
on some simplistic trope
like to thine own self be true

[troupe]
to thine own self be true

[robin]
oh god, i hope what he’s saying is true

[troupe]
please be true, please be true, please be true …

- wayne kirkpatrick

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