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letra de lord jamar shares story of getting scared straight on cocaine - vlad tv

v: you grew up in brooklyn?

j: i grew up in new roch-lle

v: new roch-lle. okay. uhh, the neighborhood that you grew up in. middle cl-ss? lower cl-ss? how would you identify it as?

j: i mean, new roch-lle as a whole is… mixed. yanadameen? you got all different economic cl-sses kinda coming together. but my immediate neighborhood i’d say was more, y’know, middle cl-ss

v: middle cl-ss

j: yeah

v: okay. so you never really had that issue of going back to the hood or whatever else?

j: well, see… i used to be in the hood all the time though, ya see what i’m saying? i lived right up the block from, y’know, the projects or whatever so

v: in new roch-lle?

j: yeah. one of the projects in new roch-lle

v: okay, so you used to go… so even though you didn’t live there you would go

j: yeah, to the point where people thought i lived there, y’know, i was there so much

v: interesting. okay

j: but umm. yeah, at the very end of the night, i’m sliding off down the block. so…

v: so, number one, why would you hang out in the projects? why would a middle cl-ss kid in new roch-lle go to hang out in the projects?

j: cos that’s where my, that’s where my friends is at. that’s where my peoples was at. yeah

v: okay

j: -laughs- point blank. and because it was live, like yanadameen?

v: it was fun

j: yeah. yanadameen? and it’s like… yeah, just everything i was about was there. yanadameen? girls. weed. my dudes

v: liquor

j: hip hop. liquor. the gods. yanadameen? all of that

v: cigarettes

j: everything

v: everything

j: everything that i would wanna indulge in was there

v: lemme ask you a question. uh, what did your parents think about you hanging out in the projects? did they know? number one?

j: yeah they knew. umm… y’know, i’m not too sure what they was thinking, like yanadameen?

v: so they never told you “don’t go over there”?

j: well they just always like “be careful”. nah but they never was telling, they never could tell me nothing really. like i was the, the oldest. y’know, my pops been was telling me from a young age to hold down the fort, and and “you the man of the house” and all of this type of sh-t, from a young age. so, in my mind, you know, even seven, eight years old, i’m thinking i’m still in charge of my moms and my grandmoms and sh-t like that, ya understand? even though i’m a young kid. so when i start to get, y’know, thirteen, fourteen, you can’t really tell me nothing. other than be, be careful

v: okay. so you’d go and hang out in the projects. did that continue as you became lord jamar and the brand nubian alb-m came out and everything else like that?

j: well… well not necessarily. like, at some point. see, when you’re focused on your goals, you can’t always make the same moves that you been making, like yanadameen? so, there was a point where, y’know, i’m out there selling crack and sh-t like that. and then motherf-ckers start getting sealed indictments and sh-t like that, yanadameen?

v: what do you mean by “sealed indictment”?

j: well like… they gather enough evidence on you surrept-tiously where when they come through now, you don’t even have to have nothing on you per se, like they already got you on an indictment and sh-t. they just come…

v: [?] already done

j: yeah. you know, you been selling the undercovers for a long time or some sh-t like that. but then one day they might come through on a sweep where they got sealed indictments on a bunch of motherf-ckers at once, like yanadameen. take the whole lobby full of motherf-ckers on some sealed indictment sh-t. and i remember that happened one time, you know, and i had just missed it, yanadameen? because i went home at the end of the night, and this happened in the, you know, the wee hours of the morning

v: how old were you at the time?

j: seventeen, maybe. some sh-t like that

v: still in high school

j: yeah. so i’m like “yo” i said “i know i’m doing this rap sh-t” like, like “this is gonna happen, like so i gotta stop moving how, you know, how i been moving”

v: so up until, well even… after your record deal you were still selling crack

j: no, not after my record deal, but…

v: up until

j: like, when we, when we was going to the studio and sh-t like, i had stopped but i still had money out there, ya understand what i’m saying? so, there still was work out there and i still was…

v: collecting

j: yeah, and that was helping us too! getting to the studio and sh-t like that

v: so you were paying for your studio time with crack money

j: well not nec- we wasn’t necessarily paying for the studio time but we was getting transportation and food and sh-t like that and, you know, just having some extra paper and sh-t like that

v: well how old were you when you started selling crack?

j: i mean i… first thing i ever saw was c-ke and i was like… thirteen

v: so at thirteen you started selling c-ke

j: word, before i even sold weed

v: okay

j: -laughs-

v: how did you get into selling c-ke?

j: just this f-ckin’, this dude i knew who was older than me. f-ckin’… you know

v: so he just [?] for you, he said “okay, bring back this much”

j: yeah. because he had, he was from umm, washington heights and all of that. but he was like a… like a super or something in my building. like he worked in my building as a janitor or some sh-t like that. but he was kinda younger, y’know, he might’ve been like… nineteen, twenty or some sh-t like that, you know

v: so, so at thirteen years old, he gave you some c-ke

j: yeah

v: you sold it. you brought him back the money. you got some more c-ke. and then, there you go. you’re now a drug dealer

j: basically. y’know, i’m sniffing it a little bit too

v: really?

j: h-ll yeah!

v: at thirteen

j: at thirteen. yanadameen?

v: your parents have any idea?

j: absolutely not

v: absolutely not. your brothers?

j: nope. not at that point

j: they was, you know. i’m the oldest soy hey was younger than me

v: so you’re selling and doing c-ke. was there ever a time where you’re… y’know, basically f-ck it, f-cking up and not… y’know, basically getting high off your own supply? and not, and not bringing back the money that was expected?

j: you know, very early on that happened and that taught me a f-cking, a lesson. you don’t ever wanna owe n-body. i mean, i don’t know exactly the whole circ-mstances but i just remember like, i came up short or some sh-t like that

v: what was the guy’s response?

j: i mean this was a big scary motherf-cker too, you know. but! he had s- he had love for me or whatever, yanadameen? so it was like… “yo don’t” y’know “don’t let that sh-t happen again” typa sh-t. like yanadameen? like, i think the anxiety about what i thought he was gonna do was worse than what really happened

v: did you think he was gonna k!ll you?

j: no no no no. maybe beat me up

v: beat you up?

j: yeah yeah yeah. like this was a big motherf-cker, and he was way older than me. yanadameen? like… yeah

v: so after that…

j: it taught me a valuable lesson. you don’t ever wanna owe n-body no sh-t, like. you don’t wanna owe n-body. you know? and, to this day, i don’t like owing n-body nothing

v: so, you continue to sell c-ke

j: mhm. and then it goes into weed, mescalin

v: yeah, i mean were you still getting high? or, or after that were you kinda like “ehh”?

j: nah, sh-t, i f-cked with c-ke off, you know. i was never like a head but, you know. yeah i f-cked with c-ke up until… nineteen. twenty. some sh-t like that

v: at what point did you start selling crack?

j: when crack got popular

v: the ’80s

j: yeah, like the middle, yeah. ’85, maybe ’86

v: what do you think changed once crack came on the scene? because crack comes from c-ke. but the effects are slightly different

j: right. it’s just… but when you cook it and the… some sh-t they was putting in it that was different like yanadameen? cos the old school motherf-ckers, they used to freebase, which is cooking up c-ke and smoking it. but it didn’t have the same effect that crack had. i don’t know if it was something they started cutting it with different. this is what i heard. they started cutting it with some other sh-t. at the c-ke level, back in the days. and then once you started mixing it with the baking soda and all this type of sh-t, there’s chemical reactions, man. yanadameen? and so i can’t fully explain it but, it just was mad more addictive than regular c-ke

v: did you ever actually try crack?

j: yes i did

v: you smoked crack

j: yes i have

v: okay. what, what was different about smoking crack than sniffing c-ke? for you

j: i don’t know. i guess it’s more… more intense. yeah, i guess it’s just more intense or something? i don’t know

v: y’know, when people say…

j: see cos we used to smoke woolas and sh-t, like, weed with the c-ke… with the… well first you smoke c-ke cigarettes and even have c-ke joints. but then, you’re thinking… cos when the crack first, n-body knew! like, so you’re thinking this is some c-ke sh-t, like, that this is some fly sh-t. like we used to be in, i used to be in the latin quarters, okay? c-king a hundred dollar bill, sniffing it in front of b-tches, you know. tryna impress ’em!

v: right

j: like i got c-ke! i’m fifteen and i got c-ke. i’m sniffing c-ke and blowing c-ke cigarettes in your face like “yeah you smell that sh-t right? i’m alive motherf-cker! alive! these young boys don’t know i got that c-ke! w-ssup!” yanadameen? that’s the type of sh-t. like it was some fly sh-t! and… but then you start, n-gg-s start smoking those woolas. and then you see certain motherf-ckers who you looked up to… this was all they was doing was smo-, they not even smoking it out the pipe. and then they f-cked around and got hooked. and now these same motherf-ckers you used to look up to, used to have all the jewellery and the fila suits and all, now they looking like b-ms, you’re like “what the f-ck? what happened?” and they’re like “yo, smoking them woolas” like “word?” like “d-mn, my dude!” like… i don’t know. and i think the only thing that saved me was having knowledge of self. and knowing that i was god, and knowing that i’m supposed to mas- be the master of all things, and nothing is supposed to master me. that’s the only thing that i believed saved me

v: and also seeing that

j: yeah, but sh-t, a lot of people have seen it and still do it

v: true. i mean like, for example, i’ll tell you like i’ve never tried c-ke. and i believe the reason i never tried c-ke was because a close friend of mine who i grew up with overdosed and died at 23 off of c-ke

j: right

v: and i never, i never tried it at that point. and when i saw that, i said “oh, okay, this is serious”

j: yeah, see if i would’ve saw something like that then maybe but…

v: i went to his funeral, everything. like, it was like…, y’know

- vlad tv

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