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letra de awe-tistic - vitiate

[introduction: vitiate]
y’know as soon as i tell that i have autism they’re like;
woah really? i had no idea man
yeah, i know you don’t
it’s not an easy thing
to, be my own world all the time
to have to live inside my own box
not being able to really communicate with other people
but, this is, the best way i can try to describe it
through the only thing i’m good at right?
me and dan
let’s do it

[verse 1: vitiate]
i never asked for the symptoms of aspergers syndrome
it attacks where it hits home and acts worse when vits grown
give vocal indication that i hate social situations
i never found someone like me who was close to inspiration
im cold in operation, can’t hold a conversation
or untold observations that stole my concentration
im at the feeble border between creepy awkward
and a deeper art form whenever people offered
combined attacks, i can’t keep eye contact
and i combat life with wannabe edgy and violent tracks
simple mimicry to mask i show little empathy
presently indifferent to everything from love to methamphetamines
comp-ssion died while murder makes me laugh and smile
p-ssers-by will make me keep my head down for m-ssive miles
everything needs to be put back in order and placement
can barely stand alone since i totally lack coordination

[chorus: dan bull]
me, i’m living with autism
and all the world’s a stage for which i never auditioned
me, i’m living with autism
my brain plays a syncopated change of pace to your rhythm
i’m living with autism
and these bars formed the cells of my mental prison
until i saw i didn’t need to be forgiven
for being me, and living with autism

[verse 2: vitiate]
this is why i rap abusive and keep actin stupid
cause its how i keep away in the back reclusive
say i condone murder to stop all my co-workers
from hanging out or making our relationship go further
i wanna end all these morbid thought proportions
and make another artist paint a portrait of the autist
people plan and specialize to try and understand and recognize
but then they find they’re unprepared and question why
can’t give a voice to the voiceless or make a life story pointless
just say that i am disappointed and always devoid of enjoyment
no one witnesses my intricate mental differences
no bridges between myself and the olympians or limitless
marked as heartless but im a victim
caustic as a pale autist who has been given the harshest criticism
there’s no need to show sympathy or pity me
just don’t have it be a mystery the day that im gone instantly

[verse 3: dan bull]
i’ve said it before, and i’m ready to tell it again
in my lowest moments, i’m my own best friend
i wanna connect with the people around me, the people that doubt me
but being in a loud scene with a crowd screaming around me
is totally overwhelming, to the point where i feel i’m drowning
the sea and the fear surround me, the cheers are bringing me down deep
but now the crowning glory is how the crowd applaud me
applause resounding all around the sound is out of the ordinary
kind of like my personality, til i learned it wasn’t a tragedy
these mannerisms and danielisms are things that make me actually me
an atom within the matter that’s spanning the seas and planets and galaxys
and that isn’t an allegory, we’re all composed of energy and it means
the planet’s a can of beings, with infinite different varities
so why are me and v seen as a difficult bit of society
nah f-ck that, – we’re the facets in the diamond
while you’re on the mountain shouting, you can’t see the fact we’re climbing

[outro: vitiate]
autism isn’t just about, complete disability
sometimes it’s about being unable to connect

- vitiate

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