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letra de dick in the pit - virtual perish

what’s up everybody?
hey, real talk
everybody here has a story about that guy
you know the one
the one who makes the concert experience sh-tty for everyone?
like that sh-thead in the front with the really big hat who won’t sit the f-ck down?!
or those assh0l-s who keep smacking you in the face with their dreadlocks?!
or the people who find sh-t to throw on the stage or the seats behind ’em?
or lighting sh-t on firе?
or trying to engage in a fight with the pеrformer?
so let me ask you something
has everyone here been on their best behavior?
all cool?
n0body’s ruining your experience, right?
hmm… i’m not hearing a lot of applause
so let’s do something about it!
let’s all take a moment to point your finger at anyone acting up!
go on, don’t be shy!
point away!
hey!
d-ckheads!
yeah!
you!
you’re being pointed at, aren’t you?!
the people have spoken – cut the sh-t!
oh, look at him, see
look at him, oo
worst motherf-cker at the venue
godd-mn, i just wanna watch the show
but this motherf-cker just decided to

smoke!
a joint!
in the middle of the pit!
i can’t breathe, you d-ck!
pot clouds are thick!

what kind of moron would want to
light up and mellow out
at an up-tempo high-energy metal show anyway!?

dude i speak for all of us
put that sh-t out!

d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit

surfing the crowd
kicking my head
wish i had a warning
i’ll grab his leg
move him along, wait
stop
what the f-ck is that
smell?!
oh god!
he’s not wearing pants!
that brown trail on his leg
better be mud! (no chance!)

now what’s he doing?
his eyes widen
he just puked on everybody!
well i gotta go!
f-ck this, i’m gonna go stand in line for the bathroom
no, do not follow me!
go away!
“i ain’t standing in line for this sh-t!”
wait what are you
he’s p-ssing on my f-cking leg!
“it’s sterile!
hey some people pay good money to get p-ssed on!”

d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit

d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit

d-ck from the pit

injuries (ow!)
hurting me (hey!)
throwing elbows and windmilling everybody
picking up pennies and reaching for jesus and donkey kick all of the people
are you having fun?!
i’m done!
you better f-ckin’ run!
where is security?!
i need a gun!

get him away from the stage or he’ll
“oh sh-t”
he’s knocking equipment all over
and now we’ve had enough!

d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit

d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit

d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck (d-ck)
d-ck in the pit

d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit (d-ck!)
d-ck in the pit
d-ck in the pit

ah, do you see how much fun we can have when everybody’s courteous?
what a great show, you guys have been amazing
thanks for coming out

man i’ve never said d-ck so many times in my whole god d-mned life
aw man, this calls for a beer and a taco!

alright let’s work on another song over the internet!
-log in sounds-
edge: h-llo? h-llo?
aurelio: h-llo?
edge: h-llo, can you hear me?
…
edge: can you hear me?
aurelio: emmm… are you there? h-llo?
edge: can. you. hear. me
aurelio: ermmm…
edge: -sigh-
-log out, log in-
edge: how ’bout now?
aurelio: h-llo?
edge: how ’bout now? can you hear me?
aurelio: are you there?
…
aurelio: hrm…
edge: ok let me try somethin’
-log out-
this is bullsh-t… where’s this stupid setting, it’s gotta be like ten f-ckin’ menus deep… finding this sh-t…
alright… there. let’s try it with that on
-log in-
edge: h-llo. h-llo
aurelio: hey
edge: oh, you can hear me now!
aurelio: yes!
edge: alright!
aurelio: finally!
edge: progress!
aurelio: yeah… um, so can you see it- can you see my screen?
edge: yes… it’s all black though… of course it’s black…
aurelio: ugh…
edge: can’t see anything…
-log out, log in-
aurelio: can you see it now maybe?
edge: yeah, but it’s… glitchin’ out something awful. is your program crashin- h-llo? i can’t-… h-llo? did your-?
-log out-
his computer crashed! this is great! i just love this! ugh can this day get any worse…
some f-ckin’ guy: hey, whaddaya doin’?
edge: oh god d-mn it not this f-ckin’ guy… i’m trying to record a song over the internet with a friend and we’re having nothing but problem-
some f-ckin’ guy: wouldn’t it be easier if he came over?
edge: no, he’s in austria…
some f-ckin’ guy: well what’s he doin’ over there?
edge: he lives there….!
some f-ckin’ guy: when’d he start livin’ there?
edge: he’s always lived there! he’s austrian! didn’t you tell? he has an accent….?
some f-ckin’ guy: oh… i just thought he was r-t-rded…
edge: bah! you’re r-t-rded! -door slams-
now he’s got me sayin’ it!
work from home they said, it’s less —stressful— they said!
-log in-
edge: h-llo!
aurelio: h-llo?
edge: f-cking h-ll!
aurelio: heh mate, don’t be so loud
edge: sorry, sorry
aurelio: um… yeah my whole… my whole computer died
edge: ugh…
aurelio: because my sound program was like “yeah, not gonna do it today!”
edge: great… just great
aurelio: mhm
edge: alright… share screen… here we go
aurelio: yes… you can see it?
edge: yeah, i can see it, the sound program’s not crashing…
aurelio: great
edge: we’re good!
aurelio: good so far? man… this album has been a pain in the -rs-…
edge: hey, we got the important part of the album right
aureltio: and… what is that?
edge: at least we could think of a title

- virtual perish

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