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letra de soap opera (live at the greek theatre) - vikki carr

[interlude]
i tell you, while i catch my breath a little bit, uh, i’d like to tell you a little bit about what goes on in the glamorous show business life
well, i’m going to tell you one incident in particular
it happened to me at framingham, massachusetts
i normally never turn on the television, you know, but this day, i decided to do it
so i’m sitting there with my m-ffie slippers, you know, those fuzzy things, and my hair was up in rollers
and i turned on the television, and i was introduced to general hospital.
now come on ladies, let it out, let your husbands know you watch the show
well, i’m telling you, you think watergate is bad, i have never seen so much trouble in my life with like five people in a half-hour, never so much
i’ve gotta tell you just a short, just a short synopsis — is that the right word?
oh, good
a short synopsis on, like, what happened — for you gentlemen, you’ll die
give me some general hospital music please
oh, yes
well, first of all, there’s this nurse jessie — right, ladies?
now, come on, let’s be honest
she’s cute but she’s not really beautiful, right?
and every man falls in love with her
she’s got eyes that glow up and she walks hunched like this, and every guy falls in love with her
be that as it may, back to the story
well, jessie was married to this doctor phil, who she thought was k!lled in a traffic accident
so, meanwhile while she’s still working at the hospital, she meets this other doctor, peter
and she really falls in love this time, and they get married
tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, ha
meanwhile, phil comes back
now, jessie is so torn because she doesn’t know whether to go back to phil because she was married to him first or stay with the guy that she really loves
the dummy goes back to phil
but what she doesn’t know is that that little devil phil has been living with a nurse all the time he’s been away
and not only that, he made her pregnant
well, here’s poor little peter, ha, ha
he looks at the nurse and says, “i will marry you to give the baby a day.”
no wonder carol burnett calls it as the stomach terrors
well, what happens is that phil really doesn’t think that it’s his baby, because, you see, he thinks that he’s omnipotent, om—, om—, ha, omni—, impotent — he thought he didn’t have it
that’s what it was
oh

- vikki carr

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