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letra de vbmc episode 1 pad thai - vegan black metal chef

[intro]
vegan black metal chef
vegan black metal chef
vegan black metal chef
vegan black metal chef

[part i: ingredients you will need]

[intro]
tofu
bean sprouts
a tomato
peanuts
siracha and chili powder
garlic and garlic powder
green onions
sugar
tamarind paste or tamarind soup base
salt
rice noodles
cilantro
a lime is optional
vinegar

[part ii: preparation!]
[verse 1]
first break the rice noodles into a bowl of water
to soak and get softer while we do everything else
then you must press the water out of the tofu
and cut the tofu in half like so, thеn cut into triangles
cut the tofu, turn the platе cut the tofu
cut the tofu, turn the plate cut the tofu
be careful not to cut too thin or else when you deep fry them
you will eat nothing but gristle

[verse 2]
form the triangles into the symbol of the ancients on the plate
you will create the sacred sign and cover with two paper towels
put a pot on top or anything with a flat bottom
fill it with heavy things to press the water out
then set aside for later

[verse 3]
now its time to crush the peanuts
place them in two bags and crush with a rolling pin
into a fine powder, if you don’t have a rolling pin
use a pot and crush them as fine as you can
it will affect the texture later, crush them fine into a powder
crush those peanuts
it will look like this
[part iii: make the sauce]

[verse 4]
first it starts with sugar, a whole f-cking lot
a little bit more than that, yes that’s right
then you add the peanuts, also a lot
less than the sugar, about that much
add the tamarind, in this case we are using a soup base
anything tamarind will do, like a paste, they all taste very similar
a little bit more, f-ck! i hate it when that happens
the tamarind will add the tangy taste, add some salt and some garlic powder

[verse 5]
that much chili powder will make it very hot
fill it up with water, about that much, then you add the vinegar
add siracha, it has some vinegar also, then stir it all up
mix all the layers up as good as you can
stir it up

[verse 6]
now i will show you, how to crush some garlic
you cut ithe top off, and smash it with a knife
then the outside, it peels right off
let’s do it again
your knife doesn’t have to be that awesome, a regular knife will do
[verse 7]
grate all the garlic into the sauce, like so
add some cilantro, it’s almost ready
this will be the best pad thai sauce ever, the ones in the stores all suck
if you’ve ever tried them you know what i’m talking about, they’re all very mediocre
now stir it up, there’s only one more step, stir everything up ah yes

[verse 8]
kinda looks like puke
now the last step add just a little bit of peanut b-tter
don’t add too much, or else it will turn into an oily mess when you cook it
that much is fine, stir it up into the water, your sauce is done

[part iv: cooking time]

[verse 9]
start by cutting a tomato, cut it into chunks it doesn’t matter what it looks like
cut the tomato, cut it into little chunks, the tomato smooths out the flavors
ahh-woah
cut the green onions, cut all their heads off
you want to keep into little stalks
cut them into little stalks

[verse 10]
then take the tofu, now that all of the water is pressed out
the the paper towel off
turn on the deep fryer, also prepare a pot on the stove
fill it with some oil, i like peanut or canola oil
add the tomato and start them cooking
put the tofu in the deep fryer like so
you can also use a pot of oil on the stove
if you don’t have a deep fryer

[verse 11]
now add the bean sprouts and green onion to the pot and cook for a minute
then add the tofu
now its time to add the sauce (the sauce)
the awesome pad thai sauce (the sauce)
the rice noodles are a little soft, but they’re not cooked yet
now you’re almost done
now the real cooking starts
turn your heat up on high

[verse 13]
at this point you are probably looking at it and saying
“what the f-ck, this doesn’t look good at all, you tricked methis sucks”
you are missing one ingredient, that is of course the heat of satan
you must summon the dark ones into your dish by any means possible
you know how to do it, just follow along
yeaow
look they are coming headbang furiously

[verse 14]
if the dark gods are pleased, they will present you with steam
now stir you fool, lest the dark ones take the bottom of your dish
stir so it doesn’t burn
you better be stirring more than me, i’m trying to show you six minutes of stirring in ten seconds
when all the water is gone, transfer quickly to a dish

[outro]
behold the glorious pad thai (pad thai)
behold the glorious pad thai (pad thai)
sprinkle some peanuts on top of your pad thai

- vegan black metal chef

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