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letra de lover and abuser - vanadeen

i framed myself and my mistakes
to remind me
i’m the same asleep as when i’m awake
confined here
my own judge, jury, lawyer and executioner
my dreamer, realist
my lover and abuser
there are cracks in my sh-ll
ways to let you see
into my one man prison cell
from where there’ll be no escapee

breathing through this straw to get my oxygen
i didn’t know how far i’d go not to let them in
this straw is an exhaust pipe and it’s pumping mе poison
i’ve used it for so long now
it’s no longer a choicе and it’s what i need to survive
so it’s always filling me
it’s not keeping me alive, it is what’s k!lling me
a fish out of sea, complaining about climbing tree’s
i’m free as a bird, but no proficiency

i’m my own lover and abuser
i’ll tear myself apart
it scares away my muse
it will always confuse her
i judge myself too hard
winner or a loser
my northern star in the night sky, a guide i don’t wanna lose
i’m my own joy reducer
i’m my own biggest critic, for better or for worse
my lover and abuser
blamed my mental state on their success
while i’m in a different league
something i always fail to address

i’ve learned that i’m not where i’m supposed to be
my short straw and these walls is what’s k!lling me
break outta jail is what i need to do
learn to sail or fly like you flew
take the leap, not afraid to fall
how did you do that?
i don’t know at all
if i wasn’t a fish, would i still want wings?
if it came down to a wish
would i still want these things?

i framed myself and my own mistakes
to remind me
i’m the same asleep as when i’m awake
confined here
my own judge, jury, lawyer and executioner
my dreamer, realist, my lover and abuser
there are cracks in my sh-ll, ways to let you see
into my one-man prison cell
from where there’ll be no escapee

it’s what i need to survive, so it’s always filling me
it’s not keeping me alive, it is what’s k!lling me
a fish out of sea, complaining about climbing trees
i’m free as a bird but no proficiency
i’m my own lover and abuser
i’ll tear myself apart
it scares away my muse
it will always confuse her
i judge myself too hard
winner or a loser
my northern star in the night sky, a guide i don’t wanna lose
i’m my own joy reducer
i’m my own biggest critic, for better or for worse
my lover and abuser

- vanadeen

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