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letra de cosplaying a rebel - ut kirin

it’s the end of an era
we turned thirty in september
and you are still
cosplaying as a rebel
we’ll skip town for the weekend
and i’ll live inside your plot line
but when it’s over
who will care about your slice of life?

wasn’t twenty-one and wasted
just the greatest
you say those days are sacred
and you chase them ’til you run out of
the drugs and paychecks
telling of your misadventures
california summers and sunsets
but not mentioning the nights
you felt alone and aimless

and i know
i’ve always been
your best supporting actor
and the nail on which you hang the portrait
of your riveting main character
but i am real
and i’m making real moves
and it breaks my heart to watch
my 2020s dorian grey
stealing the years away
from his own reputation
so if you wanna get drunk
and go camping
then i’m game man

our senior year
you left me alone in portland
to go and f-ck your way through europe
you were feeling important
you wrote me a postcard from florence
to say “i’m living the dream man
you won’t believe what happened in amsterdam
really wish you were here man”
well i wasn’t
so at least now i can’t miss it

and on your flight back home to corvallis
well i can only imagine
how you’d have felt as if the best year of your life
had now already happened
but just cause that’s true
it doesn’t mean your life is tragic
and in my silence in the dark you sense a question
just how long do you plan to lose yourself
in alcoholic solipsism?
it’s like i wished upon the monkey’s paw
for the resurrection of my old friend

so for the last time you drop me off at home
cause something is broken that we both already know
but when you go i will watch you drive away
through the fathomless divide
that is my living room window

- ut kirin

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