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letra de michael's soliloquy - uranium club

welcome back once again listener. i’m delighted to have a status update of sorts pertaining to the clubs more recent activities. specifically ones that coincide with me. that’s right, michael!

my rise within the organization could have been spelt out in the stars on the night of my birth, or at least the night of my conception. imagine it, a constellation that reads: “a. star. is. born”, and that star is michael

but first, allow me to tell you a little bit more about myself. if you want to climb a ladder you have to start at the bottom. we all know how a ladder works don’t we? born and raised a sort of military brat i saw the world from my crib. belgium, the czech republic, and so much more. it’s obvious the last deployment my father had, the one to really stick culturally was that of the queen’s britannia. my father’s constant upheaval of the family certainly didn’t allow me to remain clutching the silver spoon when i sat down in the morning with my belgian waffle dipped in cream
but these circumstances paired with my beloved mother’s angelic and prolific doting instilled a variety of social sk!lls, only a nomadic wanderer of the like could develop

without these sk!lls i wouldn’t have had the opportunity to work with such a
thoughtful
generous
handsome
congenital
conceptual
untimely bunch as i do now

in the beginning the pay was quite sh-t. but that’s how it is on the lower rungs of life’s ladder. for an inexperienced voice it was a chance to use all the practice talking i’ve done my entire life. for free mind you, to start down my own thought-path of success. it may have been a bumpy road but i sure talked my way around any obstacle that would arise
i did it all; from announcements of break times at sunbelt’s cellular engineering facilities to answering calls at the clubs switchboard, barely a promotion above pencil sharpener. to product description voice overs and not. pen. co’s torrid infomercials
yes! that was me describing the comfort of the convenient-caddy-hypoallergenic-body-mop and the incredible ease of the dripless-perception-enhancing-beutification-dropper

i made viewers foam at the mouth while grasping tightly onto their phones. this did not go unnoticed. the ladder was mine for the taking as my talent was discovered by management. he told his manager, and she told hers. and pretty soon they all told theirs and the name michael was on the tips of all the important tongues at the bermuda triangle of select-able perception

the belt
the club
and the, well, not. pen. co

with the local chapter’s house band gaining notoriety amonxed them beyond their peers, i was approached with a challenge of sorts and another step up the all-knowing ladder. i was to be a spokes-voice for the club as it’s group ventured into very new territory. that’s right, another record. they have done it before and that was new territory as well, at the time. but it grew old! boring, tiresome, so they did as many of us do, the same thing, but rather a little different this time. enter michael. with a fresh, and very different, what’s the word, thing!, different from the first and different from the last at the same time
the golden voice that tickles the eardrums like tito puente on his conga
look at me now
look. at. me. now
and look up at me now! so lofty on the ladder. promotions may include more responsibility, like keeping a listener entertained for an entire song. but what else is there to strive for but advancement before we all take a long nap in the dirt. besides, i have plenty to talk about. you’d have to be to be a vegetable not to have a litany of subjects to shout about in the modern world, and i am of course a litigious and modern michael. can you imagine the egregious amounts of information poured onto my plate on a daily basis. unless i’m speaking in tongues to those who died in the earths upper-most layer of crust, i believe you can
so much to talk about that i can’t possibly pick one topic
i mean it
not a one
this often happens to me, my train of though slows, the stuttered choo choo as my mind gathers up what’s in my lap and tries to make sense of it all

in a world born of conflict and competitors starved for your attention as you’re studied and targeted, rather effectively, how does one remain breathing without going mad? the modern man chooses their brand of madness, while the modern men argue over the best brands. i have chosen to enter a sort of “climbing the ladder” reality. when the world continues in chaos, i’ll always have my delirious goal
you may laugh at my choice, but i take comfort knowing that you simply don’t understand my version of delusion. and when all is said and done, the mindset i’ve engaged is the only that can lead someone to such grand tutelage
boss, president, prime minister, figurehead, even, dare i say, king. imagine it. michael at the doors the penthouse as he commands the inevitable
king me

- uranium club

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