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letra de dad - unnamed

while you were living your life, i was growing up
and unfortunately, it was tough
but i ain’t the type to complain
i simply lived my life like there was no change
which there wasn’t, it’s not like i was used to you being here
i don’t have a single memory of my dad being there
you were gone before i could even f-cking walk
i woulda learned a lot faster if i studied you leaving, you just disappeared
you kept walking ’till you were completely out of my life
you came back a few years later after you met your wife
when it came to the weekend, i spent it with you, it was alright
then you left again. and left no brightness for me, it was endless night
me and my mum in a tiny flat
i’m trying to help her snap out her panic attacks
man i just wish my dad was back

but that was when i was a kid, it’s all in the past
that don’t mean things have got better, this sh-t’s like a car crash
and i’m the guy who gets to live
while everybody else goes up and leaves their kid
and lives in paradise despite their endless sins
while i sit back and look at the f-cked up world that i live in
one woman looking after three kids
cause my brother’s dad did the same thing you did
but they still see their dad at the weekend
i have to travel on a train just so i can pretend
that you give a f-ck, but i’m out of luck
i don’t know why i do it, i’m used to seeing you
i’m a b-st-rd, but i don’t like to believe it’s true
a fantasy in my own mind is what i’ve conceived
and like anything else, it had to feed
so i keep going out of my way to see you, because that’s what i need
i spent money on train fare that i could’ve spent on weed
just so i could come to your house and read
my own comic books because you were nowhere to be seen
you were never home, you were providing for the kids that you actually care about
you were at the dome, making money to pay for your new tv and this m-ssive house
but still couldn’t afford the money to help me or my mum out
while she couldn’t even pay for my christmas present one year
you did nothing and my mum was in tears
she couldn’t even check her account balance without breaking down
you could’ve helped, even if you didn’t wanna stick around
you act like you’re unaware of me
you’ve never done a single thing to show that you care for me
my future, you were meant to prepare for me
so next time i get a sh-tty facebook message
i’ll make sure i reply carefully
cause the last time you saw me i was still in school
now i’ve grown up i’m trying to make my own money cause i never got sh-t from you
even when you come to my city
you don’t ask to see me
you say you came to see family
but that sh-t just cannot be
because i thought that meant me as well
i ain’t even mad at you, i blame myself
i shouldn’t have believed that along with the wealth
you would need your f-cking son, or anybody else
and when we do talk to each other we barely speak
you just tell me how you’re broke and that used to make me feel peak
but now i know it’s bullsh-t you say so i get no money this week
and you’ll have a little more p to throw this week
and make a little more p off a wrestling show this week
and then you can just sit back and watch while i float down sh-t’s creek
cause that’s how you treat your oldest kid
it was like that when i was younger, but now if you offered me twenty quid
i’d use it to pick up dog sh-t
and throw it back at you
because i don’t want sh-t from you
it’s f-cking pitiful
it would have made me miserable
but now it’s so hysterical
to think that you were bearable
it’s terrible
you left me to the side like a vegetable
and this track is so f-cking regrettable
i just wanna get the message through:
dad, i f-cking miss you

and while i’m writing this sh-t i’m reaching for another tissue
and people are probably getting tired of me, repeating myself like a reissue
i don’t mean to bring sh-t up like a dog walker
but you know i’m not much of a talker
and this has been following me everywhere like a stalker
picking up the phone seems like a tall order
i just wanna hit the ground already, somebody make the fall shorter
i remember the time we were on a kiddie coaster
you tipped the attendant to make the ride go again over and over
and told me that the f-cking breaks were broken
those times were golden
and i remember when we used to stay up late
just so we could watch wrestling that was filmed in the states
come four o’clock we’d still be awake
saying we can’t believe the cell would break
man we used to hate when people said it was fake
and while most boys play football with their dad
me and you were in the ring and i’d put on my elbow pads
and we’d wrestle, not all of our times were bad
like the time when you took me to the arena
look up and see a m-ssive poster of john cena
my dad smiles and hands me the ticket
i love having a father so much, i just f-cking miss it

you could have helped me through the ride
if you were by my side
i miss you, i miss you
you never gave my -ss a dime
i still miss you all the time
i miss you, i miss you
maybe one day you’ll come back
we could reminisce and laugh
i miss you, please come back
we could stay up late again
like we used to do back then
if you came back, please come back
my mum says you’re a waste of time
i don’t know if she is lying
please help me, i miss you
i just wanna see my dad
sorry if i’ve made you mad
i just miss you, i miss you

- unnamed

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