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letra de interrogation song (muppets) - ty burrell

[verse 1: sam eagle, constantine, jean]
sam eagle: kermit, let’s begin. describe the day you played berlin
constantine: we rehe-rs-d, and then we walked about. we ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
jean: that night, at 10:03, were you inside the portrait gallery?
c: from 10 o’clock ’till 10:04, was when we did the show’s encore
s: hmm, frog, we’ve got our doubts. can you confirm your whereabouts?
c: my alibi is watertight. the audience saw me sing all night
j: monsieur, we know you did the crime
c: i was on stage that whole night. ask who sang rainbow connection
sam eagle and jean: thank you kermit, no more questions

jean: allo, i think it’s time for good cop, romantic cop!

[verse 2: jean, miss piggy, sam eagle]
jean: miss piggy, you could end up locked inside, now’s your chance to save your hide!
miss piggy: gentlemen, i did not know, it was a crime to steal the show!
sam eagle: tell us how the art was taken
j: if you want to save your, bacon?
m: i haven’t seen your missing art. all i’ve stolen is audience’s hearts
s: we can give you a plea deal
j: all you have to do is squeal!
m: i’m not a thief, i don’t know how! all i’ve ever taken is a bow
j: we’ll catch the swine that did this job?
m: give up the pig puns, creep! go jump in a lake, that’s my suggestion!
sam eagle and jean: thank you, piggy, no more questions

[verse 3: jean and sam eagle]
jean: i think she liked me, huh?
sam eagle: i don’t think your puns are helping the investigation
j: you know… i think they did it!
s: no they didn’t!
j: yes they did and we can pin it
s: if they did, how did they do it?
j: if they didn’t, how did they didn’t?
s: if they didn’t, then it’s easy, ’cause they simply didn’t do it
j: if they did it, then i knew it, but we’ve nothing that can prove it!

jean: ahem, ugh, excuse me. bring in the purple guy with the schnoz

[verse 4: sam eagle, gonzo, jean]
sam eagle: do you remember what you did, on the night you played madrid?
gonzo: i was h-t by a raging bull! and rushed off stage to the hospital!
jean: gonzo, what do you know? about the sculpture theft at madrid’s prado?
g: i don’t know about the stolen busts! i spent the night in bed, concussed
s: the truth gonzo, the clock is tickin’
g: if you don’t believe me, ask the chicken. camilla was there, she’ll cooperate!
j: madame, are you willing to corroborate?
-camilla clucking-
s: will somebody get this chicken out of here?
g: calm down, camilla, it’s a routine inspection!
sam eagle and jean: thank you, gonzo, no more questions

[verse 5]
jean: let’s go from the start. what do you know about the stolen art?
lew zealand: i didn’t know there was a plan
floyd: your accusation’s far out man!
bunsen: the chances of us, committing a crime: are less than .009!
swedish chef: shern de shern de sher de gurn. sher de chicken ern farner hern
j: to help with our investigation, can you do a full translation?
translator: what the chef just said was, “shnoop de shnoop de shnoo.” it’s not swedish
animal: ahhh! ahh! ahhh! ah-hahahha
-penguins quack-
fozzie: uh, i can do an elvis impression?
sam eagle and jean: thank you, muppets, no more questions!

[verse 5: jean and sam eagle]
jean: they didn’t
sam eagle: no, they didn’t
j: there’s no way they did the crime
s: they couldn’t, they’re too stupid
j: they’re not criminal masterminds!
s: we may not know who did it, but we know who didn’t do it!
sam eagle and jean: so we know who didn’t do it yes we know who didn’t do it!

jean: they’re incapable of being culpable

- ty burrell

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