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letra de dear nicole - twloha

(i wrote this :p)

it goes by ana, and she
grips you soul
she makes you hurt and hurt more
when she’s gone, there’s a hole
in your thoughts, in your heart
you know it’s wrong
but you just can’t help it
her grips too strong
you think you can handle it
but for how f-cking long?
that’s right, not long
you screwed up, good goin’
you’re losing everything
even your f-cking dog
doesn’t come around you no more
she knows you’re getting thinner
she knows it’s not natural
you’re drawing away
from her and your friends
your family isn’t there for you?
don’t you see they’re trying to help you
to get through?
maybe you’re just too stupid to realize people care!
we see the cuts
we see your frown
we see every f-cking thing that you do!
do you realize that?
don’t you see that we know?
you think we don’t see
you call us stupid, insane
not to notice, but your sleeve is up
your shorts are cropped

you think we don’t see
the cuts?
the slices?
you think we don’t notice
how thin you’re getting
your goal?
you want the gap
you want the hips
the ghost of your ribs
to show, for the whole f-cking
world to see!

ana’s not kind
she’s not pretty
she is ugly
she’s a b-tch
that’s what i find!
you think no skin
and all bones is attractive?
try to find a man who’ll give a d-mn
about you and your skeleton!
oh look, there is none!
f-ck that, you’re bi
find a woman
she doesn’t give a d-mn either!
thinks you’re stupid and ugly
but calls you beautiful and amazing
well, she’s lying, get that through your head!
but that’s easy too, right?
your bones are weak
skin is thin
you hairs falling out
your nails are too!
is this what you wanted?
to die ugly and alone?
to look old and dead
before you even are?!

f-ck you
you can drink your problems away
at the bar!
that’s how it is, right?!
you’re not gonna be an alcoholic
you’ll just drink your problems away!
yeah, i remember!
you remember?
that picture you showed me – –
but there’s so f-cking many!
so many pictures you have
of bleeding arms
and wrists
the stomachs, too!
there’s pictures of
anorexics
bulimics
promoting their problems
saying “that’s okay! i do it, why not you?”
why not you right?
there’s only a few more pounds to lose
it won’t hurt?
yes it does
it ruins you
you’re light-headed and
dizzy
did you know that there were side effects?
or was that ignored, too?
you ignore so f-ckin much
but your life is full of problems
what’s a few more?
no one’s gonna think you’re
an attention-seeking wh0r-
you were molested
you were eight
cutting came in later
to deal with the pain
you’re eating got wrose
and so did your body
you look in the mirror
you hate what you see
what happens next?
to a toillet you flee

you used to be this way
you got thinner, you quit
then you got “bigger,” got “fatter,”
broke from being sober
you feel great, you’re real happy
it’s just the endorphines
there’s no reason to be happy
you’re ruining your body
you’re destroying yourself from the inside:
tearing apart your stomach
rippin up your throat
it don’t matter
your outside looks “great.”
don’t fool yourself
you’re destroyed
you are hurt
you’re bleeding though your shirt
you can’t see the blood
on your pants
cause you wear red ones
everytime you slice
your skin
you don’t know it yet
but this is happening
it’s happening to you
your future is being ruined
you’ll be gone by twenty-two
sh-t, even before that
you could be gone in three
you don’t care if you die
you’ll be gone and we won’t miss you
that’s what you think
what you say
how you feel
well, it’s wrong
you make friends
you keep ’em, you don’t lose ’em
they care about you
you know
i do
don’t ever say i never cared
that i never understood
i understand more than you know
more than you think you know
more than you’ll ever know
i understand
you wanna go down a size or two?
great, go on a diet
get some exeercise
but don’t over do it
you’re known to do that
don’t do sh-t to death
you don’t understand
how much we love you —
yeah, your mommy got divorced
she married an -ss
who doesn’t like you very much
but deep down he loves you
you oughta know
even if you hate him
you’d cry if he died right?
well, we’d all cry over you
you should know
you would cry over me, right?
or would you get over me soon?
i don’t want you to die
i don’t want to lose the only person
i have something in common with!
f-ck you, let your daddy
read and see the messages we send
to each other about
and and your love affair!
let him send you to a mental
inst-tution or
a rehab
i don’t give a f-ck
even if you never talk to me again
at least i know you’re gonna be okay
you’re gonna be okay, right?
you’re not gonna cut for every second
you were in there
on my account, right?
you’re not gonna drop a pound for
every f-ckin’ one
you gained, are you?
i bet you will
and you’ll be even more
f-cked up than you were
and are gonna be
you’ll be more f-cked up than you’ve ever been
and
guess who’s fault it’ll be!
nope, not mine!
just keep doing what you’re
doing
you might die, that’s okay
at least you’ll die
perfect
right?!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . nope`

- twloha

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