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letra de kathryn bigelow - torgny

if i stay…
will you be there for me when no one is around?
i will never fake it
i just wanna live my life so true
for now anyway
i just wanna live my life so true

kathryn, how do you like your eggs? do you like truffle salt? how often do you floss? who is your biggest enemy in hollywood and why? what’s your favorite restaurant in la? are you a workaholic? were you in psycho-n-lysis? how would you define soggy, humanistic art? what was your mother like? oh kathryn, may our paths meet and we’ll give birth to the next g*nius. we’ll raise her in suburbia. and every night we’ll watch a new movie in our private cinema. we will rewatch all the greats. kathryn how are you feeling babe, do you want a cup of tea before we call it a night? lemon, ginger, licorice

if i stay…
will you be there for me when no one is around?
i will never fake it
i just wanna live my life so true
for now anyway
i just wanna live my life so true

i google the event and find an article in the los angeles times from september 18th, 1994. it says: of course it was all hollywood fantasy, with the scene being shot for a movie and the many paying extras lured by a rave concert featuring performances by neo-disco group deee-lite and techno composer-deejay aphex twin. the colorful, future-technology orientation of the rave world is itself fairly fantastic, so it made a good match for the film, an action-adventure t-tled strange days’. and even though the concert was also a film set, i never got a glimpse of you, kathryn. no cameras, no actors. i saw deee-lite and aphex twin though, together with thousands of other people, right on the street where the shoot out scene took place, in the movie heat the year after. val kilmer, robert de niro, al pacino the year after

if i stay…
will you be there for me when no one is around?
i will never fake it
i just wanna live my life so true

i got really stoned, lost all my friends and almost got beat up by some idiots in the crowd. but deee-lite was really good. lady kier, what are you up to these days? did i tell you i moved in with kathryn bigelow? did i tell you we have a kid now? she’s a g*nius. we never moved to the suburbs though, ’cause living in an auto dependent suburban castle makes it harder to form new friendships especially as you age. anyway, back to ’94: i ended up in some kind of pizza restaurant turned after party club in santa monica. asian girl tennis skirt and long blue ponytail handed out acid to everyone. later she freaked out dancing on the table. was it euphoria or was it a bad trip? i don’t know. and where is she now? what’s her favorite restaurant? is she an intellectual? does she like truffle salt? what’s her favorite tea? is she a mother?

if i stay…
will you be there for me when no one is around?
i will never fake it
i just wanna live my life so true
for now anyway
i just wanna live my life so true

a week later i went to an underground rave party on beverly boulevard somewhere, next to a really shady hotel, tags in the hallway. why was i here? well, that’s because a third generation gangster invited me up to his room to share some drugs. and i remember the filthy, crusty satin sheet covering the double bed. and after a while he started stroking my stomach. i realized he was g-y and that he really wanted me. i’m sorry, but i’m not g-y. i politely removed his hand. i’m not g-y. and i saw that deep, h-rny sorrow in his eyes. and he touched me again. i’m sorry, i’m not even bis-xual. i like girls. lady kier, kathryn bigelow, angela b-ssett and so on. and for a moment there i was worried he was gonna rape me with his hard c-ck and his forceful muscles energized by the meth amphetamines. but somehow i managed to verbally place a warmhearted respect in the room. we hugged each other, and then i got in the car and drove through an empty la. and nothing is more beautiful than los angeles at 6 am on a sunday morning. nothing

for now anyway
i just wanna live my life so true

- torgny

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