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letra de taco bell apple tree - tim heidecker, neil hamburger & heidecker & hamburger

[neil hamburger]
pretty sure that taco bell made me sick
taco bell made me sick, i hate them now
i think taco bell food poisoned me last night
i’m pretty sure taco bell literally poisoned me

[tim heidecker]
close all the taco bells, plant an apple tree
sit back and watch it grow and we all eat apples for free

[neil hamburger]
f-ck you, taco bell, you all poison my burrito
what the f-ck, taco bell? why’d you give me food poisoning?
i think i got food poisoning
hate you, taco bell
taco bell, i got food poisoning from you on monday
never felt so betrayed in my life

[tim heidecker]
close all the taco bells, plant an apple tree
sit back and watch it grow and we all eat apples for free

[neil hamburger]
it’s midnight and i have food poisoning
i’ve been sick since nine
i’m done with taco bell
f-ck taco bell
i’m so sick of food poisoning every single time i go there, ugh
this is just no fun at all
i’m not eating taco bell now for at least a year
d-mn food poisoning
[tim heidecker]
close all the taco bells, plant an apple tree
sit back and watch it grow and we all eat apples for free

[neil hamburger]
hey, guys, i got food poisoning from taco bell
guess who’s never eating there again?
every time i eat taco bell, my life gets f-cked
i feel so sick
taco bell got me sick
that taco bell last night made me sick
taco bell just makes me sick

[tim heidecker]
(close all the taco bells, plant an apple tree
sit back and watch it grow and we all eat apples for free)

[neil hamburger]
that taco bell food got me feeling sick
sick from taco bell
when will i ever learn?
what the f-ck taco bell?
my first time eating you in a while and i gotta get food poisoning
get me dirty
food poisoning is getting old, it’s been four days
screw taco bell
oh, my god
i have food poisoning from taco bell
[applause]

[tim heidecker]
well, thank you guys so much
thank you to neil hamburger for coming up and being a part of this show

[neil hamburger]
thanks for having me

[tim heidecker]
yeah, this has been a lot of fun
been fun to play some of these protest songs and old folk songs, old standards
ah, speaking of apples, we’re-neil and i were talking about this backstage and just, um, all the different varieties of apples that there are out there
what’s some of your favorite apples? we’re just going to-

[neil hamburger]
you know, there’s, there’s literally thousands
they say there’s 7,500 different varieties of apples
so this is something you should investigate
you know, they say “a is for apple”
and it’s funny how many breeds or varieties of apples start with a
would you like to hear a few of them?

[tim heidecker]
yeah, let’s hear maybe i’ll do a little accompaniment for you
[neil hamburger]
okay, there’s acey mac apple
adams pearmain apple
adanac apple
adirondack crabapple
airlie red flesh
akane apple
albemarle pippin apple
albany beauty apple
caro apple
the alderman apple

alexander apple, i think i know him

alfriston apple
alkmene apple
allen’s everlasting apple

[tim heidecker]
wow, i didn’t know there were so many apples

[neil hamburger]
allington pippin apple
american mother apple
ambrosia apple
the almeda apple
american summer pearmain apple
the ananas reinette apple
anna apple, i’d like to date her

there’s apple a-p-l
ant-anton-anton antonovka apple
sounds russian

[tim heidecker]
it’s a lot of apples

[neil hamburger]
annie elizabeth apple
api étoilé apple
apricot apple
the ard cairn russet apple
arlet apple
arkansas black apple
the ariane apple
allington pippin apple
the aroma apple
aromatic russet apple
ashmead’s kernel apple
arthur w. barnes apple
arthur turner apple
autumn gold apple
and i’ve memorized all of these

do you want to hear all the apples that start with b?

[tim heidecker]
i don’t know if we’re gonna have time for that

[applause]

[neil hamburger]
let’s see if we can do it

[tim heidecker]
all right

[neil hamburger]
well, it seems like a pretty patient crowd
give your yourselves a round of applause

[applause]

[tim heidecker]
all right, well, let’s, let’s do all the apples that start with b
and i’ll change the key to the key of b, okay?

[neil hamburger]
there’s the baltimore pippin apple
the bailey sweet apple
the baldwin apple
the bardsey apple
balsam apple
ballarat seedling apple
the barnack beauty apple
berry apple
again, it sounds like somebody’s name

baumanns reinette apple
beautiful arcade apple
beacon apple
maya mauritius apple
beauty of bath apple
beauty of hampshire apple
the bedfordshire foundling apple
the belmac apple
the belle de boskoop

- tim heidecker neil hamburger heidecker hamburger

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