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letra de salad dressing - thoams

[intro]
this is a certified hood classic
yo pierre wanna cum in me?

[verse 1: thoams]
i go to my grandma’s house to l!ck her toes
when i was nine i cummed inside a garden gnome
i shove my fingers inside of my homie’s b-tthole
he once had a s-xual relationship with a tadpole
i get turned on when i beat up cripples
when i want a burger, i shop at lidl
once i robbed a store with a hockey stick
owner told me get out, i called him a d-ck
set an ice cream van on firе at a children’s park
the parents shoutеd at me some rude remarks
pick your mum up and take her on a cruise
slap this b-tch around the face and now she got a bruise
last night i matched your sister on tinder
picked her up and creamed in her
i went to london to stab a clown
if you try and swim you will drown

[verse 2: monky]
this boy in maths called me a loser
so i put a p-rnography virus on his computer
i knocked an eight year old out with a scooter
now i got a criminal record like home intruders
i went on omegle, an old man showed me his p-n-s
i skipped it because i’d already seen it
my dad got p-ssed, gave me his car to clean it
replaced the sponge with c4 now he can’t see it
this guy p-ssed me off in my science classes
so i bathed his dog in hydrochloric acid
homie said he got the wood so i told him pass it
but when i felt it in my hand it was flaccid
like tf2 i hit him with the frying pan
do not do that iron man
this b-tch said he don’t like orangutans
so i ran him over in a caravan
[verse 3: thoams]
i fly my plane over to afghanistan
so i can save orphans from the taliban
gotta get out quick cos those terrorists hatin’
tell those b-tches go back to decapi-tating

[verse 4: monky]
this man said teeoomas was outdated
so i got that b-tch defenestrated
i laugh at your face it’s entertaining
call you joe biden, two yil remaining

- thoams

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