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letra de 06.01.18 (e) - the real hatred

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five days after new year’s day, 2018, i stood at a bridge, watching the trains go by
shivering
drunk, i wept, and the lights sparkled in my tear filled eyes
it wasn’t a cry for help
i’d tried the ‘help’ i had been offered
no
this was a decisive action
and at the same time, not
for here i stand, before you
alive
fueled by a hatred for life, and above all, myself

drunk, and sick
on the bridge
i weep
my eyes
are glued
to the tracks
and the trains
and death
fills my heart
and my mind
and i shake
on the edge
of this precipice
ready
for
rushing past with no remorse
i have set myself on course
for a gruesome final stand
to free myself by my own hand

all my life i swallowed pain
never shall i do again
all this f-cking suffering
i am f-cking leaving

death shall be my only friend
unlike those c-nts who left me here
all alone with no help
i’ll k!ll them first and burn in h-ll

why should i try and stay alive?
no one would care if i died
my mangled corpse shall portray
all my f-cking worldly pain

and when my family weep and cry
down from h-ll my voice shall rise
happiness i’d found at last
now that i have f-cking passed

so to you i tell you this
life is f-cking sh-t
so do what is right and true
and f-cking k!ll yourself too

- the real hatred

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