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letra de an actuary retires - the rare occasions

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n0body came to my retirement party
n0body cares when you’re on your way out
inconsequential and oh so replaceable
all along i thought i would’ve left with more than nothing to show

i once was hailed as the prince of invention
i once was cast as a modern galois
n0body came to my retirement party
all along i thought i would’ve left with more than nothing to show

i place my things in a cardboard box
swiftly struck by a swivelling shard of the past
schoolyard voices swirling around
the other kids: aspiring firemen and ballerinas
me: walls plastered with equations
out to prove or disprove the magnetic monopole
swim far from thought’s shallows
hold experiments, teach classes
then someone said:

“there’s no money in that!
quick wit to pick apart fiction from fact
you’ve got brains, kid, go make some cash!”

with neon dollar-sign eyeb-lls
hollowed-out heart, i’m placing bets on life or death
listless drips seep through the teeming weeks
and i lose respect for myself
hope is the last of the spirit to falter
hope is a weight that drags from within
and if i’d known in the end it was worth it
i would’ve followed that hope to begin

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